jules pwns jenny

here's a little story about my spring cleaning. deciding to remodel my teeny weeny apartment without spending much (in fact i even gave away stuff), much of the weekend was spent moving furniture around and throwing/giving away stuff. like the CD towers. and the weaker-than-weak stand fan. i'm still weighing on the magazine collection (yes, soon). which then brings us to a few VHS tapes i still keep around. i'm still not done with the cleaning so there's probably a few more lying around somewhere.



so to wit, i kept the blank ones and separated the following:

- Pulp Fiction (solid gold)
- The Usual Suspects (solid gold)
- Striking Distance (back when Horse Face was still a Pony)
- Jenny McCarthy: The Playboy Years (please don't ask)

so i took them all downstairs and left them by the lobby. i had a feeling that the first two would be taken first (this is kinda like the ongoing NFL draft). i mean who would not want those two landmark movies, one resurrecting John Travolta's career and the other putting Bryan Singer on the map? in my case, i already have them in digital format, so no problem. soon, they'll be storing movies inside nanochips in our brain, effectively ending the media storage furniture business.

an hour later, i discovered i was right!!

the Bruce Willis cheap thriller was still there, along with Jenny. poor Jenny.

does this mean nobody wants a piece of Jenny McCarthy? (right, they probably want her sister, Amy)

still a couple of hours later, Striking Distance was gone, and there still lay Ms. McCarthy, lonely and unwanted.

should we cook up a few possible reasons why this happened?

- the people in my apartment have a bit more class and know which side their bread is buttered
- those that bothered to notice the tapes were of the age where the prurient stuff no longer holds any fascination with them
- they already have better copies
- they've seen the damn thing
- they want Amy McCarthy

eventually, the last tape was gone from the foyer, which then leads me to think that i just witnessed a female version of Mr Irrelevant.

actually, we can also explain this phenomenon using the immortal law involving Kevin Bacon.

- Pulp Fiction stars Samuel Jackson as the iconic Jules Winnfield.
- Jackson worked with Kevin Spacey in The Negotiator and A Time to Kill.
- Spacey is the twist villain in The Usual Suspects (if i spoiled it for you, boooohooo; you should've seen this about a million times already).
- Bruce Willis appears in both Pulp Fiction and Striking Distance.
- Jenny McCarthy has not worked with any of the aforementioned actors.
- there is also no proof that she dated any of them in the past.
- neither has her current beau, Jim Carrey, dated or worked with them in the past.


i wonder which of my neighbors picked her tape? hmmmmmmm .....