Showing posts with label laughs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laughs. Show all posts
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
we got talent!
and she traveled all the way here for this.
bravo, Madam Prez. hope you get a couple of million at least. as long as most of it don't go into some fat pig's pockets.
bravo, Madam Prez. hope you get a couple of million at least. as long as most of it don't go into some fat pig's pockets.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
drug is the drug
unearthed from the last century!
i remember getting addicted to this when i first played it. its as addictive as the drugs you "peddle" in whatever metropolis you choose. note that this is the crude DOS version, and is much fun even if it isn't the Windows one.
by the middle of the month, i remembered how to sell, managed to pay off my loan, and even banked some money. hoooo-haaaaa!
by the last day, i banked most of the dough and took a slight hit with some unsold Ecstasy. almost $190,000 earned in 30 days. not bad for a one-off.
if only i was this judicious with money in real life. wait, that means i'm gonna be dealing. or in jail. or dead.
thanks for the memories, Beermat Software!
i remember getting addicted to this when i first played it. its as addictive as the drugs you "peddle" in whatever metropolis you choose. note that this is the crude DOS version, and is much fun even if it isn't the Windows one.
by the middle of the month, i remembered how to sell, managed to pay off my loan, and even banked some money. hoooo-haaaaa!
by the last day, i banked most of the dough and took a slight hit with some unsold Ecstasy. almost $190,000 earned in 30 days. not bad for a one-off.
if only i was this judicious with money in real life. wait, that means i'm gonna be dealing. or in jail. or dead.
thanks for the memories, Beermat Software!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
jules pwns jenny
here's a little story about my spring cleaning. deciding to remodel my teeny weeny apartment without spending much (in fact i even gave away stuff), much of the weekend was spent moving furniture around and throwing/giving away stuff. like the CD towers. and the weaker-than-weak stand fan. i'm still weighing on the magazine collection (yes, soon). which then brings us to a few VHS tapes i still keep around. i'm still not done with the cleaning so there's probably a few more lying around somewhere.
so to wit, i kept the blank ones and separated the following:
- Pulp Fiction (solid gold)
- The Usual Suspects (solid gold)
- Striking Distance (back when Horse Face was still a Pony)
- Jenny McCarthy: The Playboy Years (please don't ask)
so i took them all downstairs and left them by the lobby. i had a feeling that the first two would be taken first (this is kinda like the ongoing NFL draft). i mean who would not want those two landmark movies, one resurrecting John Travolta's career and the other putting Bryan Singer on the map? in my case, i already have them in digital format, so no problem. soon, they'll be storing movies inside nanochips in our brain, effectively ending the media storage furniture business.
an hour later, i discovered i was right!!
the Bruce Willis cheap thriller was still there, along with Jenny. poor Jenny.
does this mean nobody wants a piece of Jenny McCarthy? (right, they probably want her sister, Amy)
still a couple of hours later, Striking Distance was gone, and there still lay Ms. McCarthy, lonely and unwanted.
should we cook up a few possible reasons why this happened?
- the people in my apartment have a bit more class and know which side their bread is buttered
- those that bothered to notice the tapes were of the age where the prurient stuff no longer holds any fascination with them
- they already have better copies
- they've seen the damn thing
- they want Amy McCarthy
eventually, the last tape was gone from the foyer, which then leads me to think that i just witnessed a female version of Mr Irrelevant.
actually, we can also explain this phenomenon using the immortal law involving Kevin Bacon.
- Pulp Fiction stars Samuel Jackson as the iconic Jules Winnfield.
- Jackson worked with Kevin Spacey in The Negotiator and A Time to Kill.
- Spacey is the twist villain in The Usual Suspects (if i spoiled it for you, boooohooo; you should've seen this about a million times already).
- Bruce Willis appears in both Pulp Fiction and Striking Distance.
- Jenny McCarthy has not worked with any of the aforementioned actors.
- there is also no proof that she dated any of them in the past.
- neither has her current beau, Jim Carrey, dated or worked with them in the past.
i wonder which of my neighbors picked her tape? hmmmmmmm .....
so to wit, i kept the blank ones and separated the following:
- Pulp Fiction (solid gold)
- The Usual Suspects (solid gold)
- Striking Distance (back when Horse Face was still a Pony)
- Jenny McCarthy: The Playboy Years (please don't ask)
so i took them all downstairs and left them by the lobby. i had a feeling that the first two would be taken first (this is kinda like the ongoing NFL draft). i mean who would not want those two landmark movies, one resurrecting John Travolta's career and the other putting Bryan Singer on the map? in my case, i already have them in digital format, so no problem. soon, they'll be storing movies inside nanochips in our brain, effectively ending the media storage furniture business.
an hour later, i discovered i was right!!
the Bruce Willis cheap thriller was still there, along with Jenny. poor Jenny.
does this mean nobody wants a piece of Jenny McCarthy? (right, they probably want her sister, Amy)
still a couple of hours later, Striking Distance was gone, and there still lay Ms. McCarthy, lonely and unwanted.
should we cook up a few possible reasons why this happened?
- the people in my apartment have a bit more class and know which side their bread is buttered
- those that bothered to notice the tapes were of the age where the prurient stuff no longer holds any fascination with them
- they already have better copies
- they've seen the damn thing
- they want Amy McCarthy
eventually, the last tape was gone from the foyer, which then leads me to think that i just witnessed a female version of Mr Irrelevant.
actually, we can also explain this phenomenon using the immortal law involving Kevin Bacon.
- Pulp Fiction stars Samuel Jackson as the iconic Jules Winnfield.
- Jackson worked with Kevin Spacey in The Negotiator and A Time to Kill.
- Spacey is the twist villain in The Usual Suspects (if i spoiled it for you, boooohooo; you should've seen this about a million times already).
- Bruce Willis appears in both Pulp Fiction and Striking Distance.
- Jenny McCarthy has not worked with any of the aforementioned actors.
- there is also no proof that she dated any of them in the past.
- neither has her current beau, Jim Carrey, dated or worked with them in the past.
i wonder which of my neighbors picked her tape? hmmmmmmm .....
Friday, April 18, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
life is a box of ...
scenes from an afternoon along Park Avenue South ...
my boyhood idol (even more than Captain America) - those who want to tag with me on the opening screening, raise your hands.
Will Eisner lives!!!!
i don't care what you say, this is not to be missed as well.
how come no one told me about this?? that being said - photochopped!!! Jenna doesn't look like that anymore.
i read recently in Time Magazine that Howard Schultz has made a comeback to reclaim former glory. even better, he's trying to keep the Sonics back in Seattle (yes please).
i started doodling and drawing my current apartment, and invariably ended up trying to redesign the Iron Man armor. it kept looking like the Halo soldiers though (the paper below had more scribbles by the time i finished).
my boyhood idol (even more than Captain America) - those who want to tag with me on the opening screening, raise your hands.
Will Eisner lives!!!!
i don't care what you say, this is not to be missed as well.
how come no one told me about this?? that being said - photochopped!!! Jenna doesn't look like that anymore.
i read recently in Time Magazine that Howard Schultz has made a comeback to reclaim former glory. even better, he's trying to keep the Sonics back in Seattle (yes please).
i started doodling and drawing my current apartment, and invariably ended up trying to redesign the Iron Man armor. it kept looking like the Halo soldiers though (the paper below had more scribbles by the time i finished).
in case you're wondering ...
there's a point to these pictures. i thought i'd never see them again. and that's because i thought i lost my camera.
you know that feeling when you lost something valuable - let's keep our discussions on the material side of things, ok? - that you can't relax, your mind keeps drifting to it every 3 seconds, and you keep reliving and replaying the sequence of events leading to its disappearance? i couldn't sleep at all last night, after discovering its not in the places i've looked. i frantically emailed my friend time bandit, who's currently incognito in Ecuador to foment dissent and actually put a hit on that pig Hugo Chavez when he visits Rafael Correa, and there was a slim chance the object of my search may be in the stuff i left him back in Jersey last Friday. but none of that made me calm down, not even two consecutive missions in Hitman: Contracts that left a lot of Chinese gangsters and policemen dead, and sent my mass murderer rating soaring.
and then this morning, half-asleep and gears still turning in my head, the light bulb i was waiting to turn on - turned on.
you know that feeling too, right?
i stood up, walked over to a jacket i forgot i wore last Friday ... and viola.
24 hours of feeling distraught. oboy.
whom the gods would destroy, they first make senile.
you know that feeling when you lost something valuable - let's keep our discussions on the material side of things, ok? - that you can't relax, your mind keeps drifting to it every 3 seconds, and you keep reliving and replaying the sequence of events leading to its disappearance? i couldn't sleep at all last night, after discovering its not in the places i've looked. i frantically emailed my friend time bandit, who's currently incognito in Ecuador to foment dissent and actually put a hit on that pig Hugo Chavez when he visits Rafael Correa, and there was a slim chance the object of my search may be in the stuff i left him back in Jersey last Friday. but none of that made me calm down, not even two consecutive missions in Hitman: Contracts that left a lot of Chinese gangsters and policemen dead, and sent my mass murderer rating soaring.
and then this morning, half-asleep and gears still turning in my head, the light bulb i was waiting to turn on - turned on.
you know that feeling too, right?
i stood up, walked over to a jacket i forgot i wore last Friday ... and viola.
24 hours of feeling distraught. oboy.
whom the gods would destroy, they first make senile.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Jesus (phone) walks
so far, my phone hasn't turned into a brick (yet). i keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, but not as much like the first two weeks. there was one time it rebooted itself, but that was when i was watching Rambo IV (right during the final firefight). maybe the electronics couldn't take that much testosterone. you wouldn't find the Rambo crowd sporting iPhones anyway.
i haven't really installed much in it, which is actually what you really do when you jailbreak the thing. no games, no handy apps, no nothing. maybe i just really wanted a phone. that works like an iPhone. at a cheaper price.
annoying stuff:
- how the hell do i turn off the autocomplete feature during texting? you have to remember to tap every suggested word to send it away if you don't need it. you won't believe the crazy suggestions it has for the Tagalog words i'm typing in.
- the aforementioned abrupt-exit during playback of some videos. which is kinda expected though since all am putting in is not-exactly legit MP4s. and by the way, the screen is still small!!! (yes, am holding on to my principles)
- no way to create separate photo albums? maybe that's a 3rd party app?
- some call drops, but could that be t-mobile instead of the phone?
the sweet:
+ knows that you are using the phone and when cheek is pressed against the screen, the touch feature is turned off.
+ i have my 8TUV key back
+ despite the screen limitations, i managed to watch a lot more movies here than in my DVD/Media player at home. i've been through a couple of Chris Rock shows, i laughed through The Darjeeling Limited, enjoyed Michael Clayton, updated myself up to 3 episodes of John Adams (that deserves its own post), replayed the Giants' marvelous SuperBowl season, and marveled at the awesomeness of Appleseed Ex Machina (imagine if i saw it on High Def).
if this works for at least a couple of years (the previous Nokia had turned in a service term of three), then it'll be a well-spent $250. still cheaper than similar ones they're hawking over at Radio Shack.
i haven't really installed much in it, which is actually what you really do when you jailbreak the thing. no games, no handy apps, no nothing. maybe i just really wanted a phone. that works like an iPhone. at a cheaper price.
annoying stuff:
- how the hell do i turn off the autocomplete feature during texting? you have to remember to tap every suggested word to send it away if you don't need it. you won't believe the crazy suggestions it has for the Tagalog words i'm typing in.
- the aforementioned abrupt-exit during playback of some videos. which is kinda expected though since all am putting in is not-exactly legit MP4s. and by the way, the screen is still small!!! (yes, am holding on to my principles)
- no way to create separate photo albums? maybe that's a 3rd party app?
- some call drops, but could that be t-mobile instead of the phone?
the sweet:
+ knows that you are using the phone and when cheek is pressed against the screen, the touch feature is turned off.
+ i have my 8TUV key back
+ despite the screen limitations, i managed to watch a lot more movies here than in my DVD/Media player at home. i've been through a couple of Chris Rock shows, i laughed through The Darjeeling Limited, enjoyed Michael Clayton, updated myself up to 3 episodes of John Adams (that deserves its own post), replayed the Giants' marvelous SuperBowl season, and marveled at the awesomeness of Appleseed Ex Machina (imagine if i saw it on High Def).
if this works for at least a couple of years (the previous Nokia had turned in a service term of three), then it'll be a well-spent $250. still cheaper than similar ones they're hawking over at Radio Shack.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
the naked fist
i'm not sure why, but i was vaguely thinking of Filipino action stars from my childhood, and the first name that comes to mind is Dante Varona. maybe it was because of his infamous San Juanico Bridge jump. or because one of my grade school classmates misspelled one of his movies as "Hari ng Stand" (Stunt). or because i used to refer to my pal Jego as Bathala (from one of Varona's flicks, "Kung Tawagin Sya'y Bathala").
doing a quick YouTube search, i only found this parody:
argh! ba't bitin?? it would have been a hit in the magnitude of those Mark Lapid/saging videos.
i'm not sure which movie that came out of. a quick IMDB search yields:
i'm guessing its the second one ...
i think Ramon Zamora faked his death and became Babalu.
i'm not sure if i ever watched a Varona movie. or a Zamora one. maybe on TV. we always had Fernando Poe Jr. of course. and Lito/Jess Lapid. i just wish i had a crystal ball so i can peek back into my baduy past and laugh at what the heck i was watching back then. anybody remember "Assault Squad Scorpio"? (damn i'm too old for this stuff)
who's your childhood retro action star(s)?
doing a quick YouTube search, i only found this parody:
argh! ba't bitin?? it would have been a hit in the magnitude of those Mark Lapid/saging videos.
i'm not sure which movie that came out of. a quick IMDB search yields:
i'm guessing its the second one ...
i think Ramon Zamora faked his death and became Babalu.
i'm not sure if i ever watched a Varona movie. or a Zamora one. maybe on TV. we always had Fernando Poe Jr. of course. and Lito/Jess Lapid. i just wish i had a crystal ball so i can peek back into my baduy past and laugh at what the heck i was watching back then. anybody remember "Assault Squad Scorpio"? (damn i'm too old for this stuff)
who's your childhood retro action star(s)?
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
full stop
i keep seeing posters of this upcoming movie on the subway, and for some reason it keeps catching my eye. oh yes, Reese Witherspoon won't be at the premiere; she'll be busy swapping spit with Jake Gyllen-ho. speaking of whom, did he say anything when Heath Ledger kicked the bucket?
Stop-Loss is a drama about a soldier (Ryan Phillippe) who's about to be sent to his second tour of duty in Iraq. yelling, chest-thumping and crying ensue.
i'm not here to promote the film; am just here to be a smartass. looking at the poster - what were they thinking?
Abbie Cornish (Michelle)
"holy shit! i'm in a movie with my cool boyfriend Ryan Phillippe! hope i don't see Reese at the premiere!"
here's how sick this gets: Abbie Cornish -> swapped spit with Heath Ledger -> swapped spit with Jake Gyllenhaal -> swapped spit with Reese Witherspoon -> swapped spit with Ryan Phillippe -> swapped spit with Abbie Cornish
how's that for six degrees, eh? Kevin Bacon is ROTFL.
Channing Tatum (Steve)
"what the hell am i doing here? i want to go on the new Ricky Martin tour, dammit!"
Ryan Phillippe (Sgt. Brandon King)
"how i got to be a sergeant, i don't know. as long as i look cool. i'm the coolest of them all. you can tell by the way i pout."
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Tommy)
"if you don't still get it that am the greatest actor of my generation (that's Gen 3rd Rock From The Sun), you need to get out more. did you see Brick? did you notice my fine acting chops? am not a sell-out. Heath Ledger just beat me to the punch! i can do death!"
"oh, by the way, see you in 2009 ... i'm playing Cobra Commander. eat that, losers."
Stop-Loss is a drama about a soldier (Ryan Phillippe) who's about to be sent to his second tour of duty in Iraq. yelling, chest-thumping and crying ensue.
i'm not here to promote the film; am just here to be a smartass. looking at the poster - what were they thinking?
Abbie Cornish (Michelle)
"holy shit! i'm in a movie with my cool boyfriend Ryan Phillippe! hope i don't see Reese at the premiere!"
here's how sick this gets: Abbie Cornish -> swapped spit with Heath Ledger -> swapped spit with Jake Gyllenhaal -> swapped spit with Reese Witherspoon -> swapped spit with Ryan Phillippe -> swapped spit with Abbie Cornish
how's that for six degrees, eh? Kevin Bacon is ROTFL.
Channing Tatum (Steve)
"what the hell am i doing here? i want to go on the new Ricky Martin tour, dammit!"
Ryan Phillippe (Sgt. Brandon King)
"how i got to be a sergeant, i don't know. as long as i look cool. i'm the coolest of them all. you can tell by the way i pout."
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Tommy)
"if you don't still get it that am the greatest actor of my generation (that's Gen 3rd Rock From The Sun), you need to get out more. did you see Brick? did you notice my fine acting chops? am not a sell-out. Heath Ledger just beat me to the punch! i can do death!"
"oh, by the way, see you in 2009 ... i'm playing Cobra Commander. eat that, losers."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
