Monday, February 28, 2005

I shouldn't be even making jokes about this

Not only does the ruling Party machine think everyone's a Republican, they even have the temerity to ask them for contributions.


Yep, as Chris Rock said last night in a great analogy, you work at The Gap, you have a trillion dollars missing from your cash register, you start a war with Banana Republic because of toxic tank tops, thousands of Gap employees are dead because of the war, and you find out that Banana Rep didn't even sell tank tops. Yep, getting away with that merits an Oscar.

moi!?!? a nerd?!? perish the friggin' thought!!!

23% scored higher (more nerdy), and 77% scored lower (less nerdy).

What does this mean? Your nerdiness is: Mid-Level Nerd.
Wow, it takes a lot of hard nerdy practice to reach this level.


I am nerdier than 77% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!


Just because I know what Mn is, I built my own PC from the ground up (and blew it up along the way), the grossest thing in my room are some dirty clothes, I know somehow what Newton looks like, I know my IP address, and I chose "researcher" as a fun job (yep, pay me $5000 monthly to research stuff on the 'Net, i can do that)?

Altogether now: "Yeah, right."

Sunday, February 27, 2005

and Chris Rock's parting shot is: "G'night, Brooklyn!!!!!!!!!"

Great job. G'nyt, Chris.
Best Picture: Million Dollar Baby. WHOOOOOAAAA!!! SWEEP, BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!
Best Director: Clint Eastwood, Million Dollar Baby. Scorsese gets snubbed again - no dis to anyone.
and the Best Actor goes to ......... Jamie Foxx, Ray. daaaaaaaaaaaaym!! (I actually typed this before Charlize Theron even read the envelope!!!)
Best Screenplay: Charlie Kaufman, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Ok, ok, am gonna watch it already!!!
more Chris Rock: "Our next presenter is the only woman to breastfeed an Apple. Ladies and gentlemen, Gwyneth Paltrow." nyhahahaha
Best Actress: Hillary Swank, Million Dollar Baby woooohoooo! Annette Benning is probably calling the hitman now.
my man Prince (wooohooo!) hands out the Best Song: Al Otro Lado del Rio. Nyhahahahahaha! Take that, Gil Cates/Academy!
Beyonce is making a killing. This is her freakin 3rd singing performance, this time with Josh Groban (that song from the stupid Polar Express). Can't the Academy get anybody else?? What a great agent she has.
Yo Yo Ma provides the music to the tribute to those who passed away - starting off with the Gipper.
Antonio Banderas sings! Santana strums! for "Al Otro Lado del Rio" (The Other Side of the River) in "The Motorcycle Diaries". seems the Academy put them in lieu of original singer Jorge Drexler, and earned the ire of the Latino community, including the film's director.

did he just say that ....?

Chris Rock: you won't be able to take your eyes off these four presenters - Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek!

nyhahahahahahahaha!
Emmy Rossum is hot!
the (usually) unkempt Al Pacino honors directorial great Sidney Lumet.
Visual FX: Spiderman 2
wow, Counting Crows performs "Accidentally In Love".
Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, The Aviator
what th-! Beyonce sings in French?! (Vois Sur Ton Chemin)
Wooohooooo! (and i haven't seen it yet!!) Animation: The Incredibles
uh oh - Robin Williams steals some of Chris Rock's thunder nyhahahaha
Finally! Best Supporting Actor: Morgan Freeman, Million Dollar Baby
Chris ROCKS!!!!

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Escape from Texas!

What th-! Its 5:30AM already and i have a 7AM flight!? Daaaamn! In the next 25 mins, I must have broken some records for fastest getaway from a hotel, bathed, fully clothed, without leaving a personal item *lol*. And the Texas Shuttle van driver got to the airport in 15 minutes by going through the toll roads and without breaking any laws, fully deserving that $40 fare. nyhahahahaha! success!

Flight was one hour to Mark Cuban's place. And the connecting gate was on the other terminal. Thank goodness for the Dallas-Fort Worth TrAAin (yep, funded by AA - American Airlines, not Alcoholics Anonymous).


Managed to get in just in time for boarding to the flight to JFK. Having swapped with a couple, I am now seated beside a meditating/chanting Pat Morita, doing his Japanese word puzzles and listening to his Zen music. Couldn't wait for the plane to get to 30,000 feet so i can put on some Depeche Mode.

(wait a sec. he was listening to his walkman the whole time taking off. and the plane didn't crash. no instrument malfunction, no frequency interference, nothing. the airlines have been lying to us the whole time.)

Later, into the flight, the black guys on the row ahead of us call a flight attendant to shut up Mr Miyagi. nyahahaha.

But at least i got away with a shotglass this time (that means i have to go back to Miami someday *lol*)


Wow. Back in Brooklyn. Taxis now accept credit cards. Haven't seen any of these swipe machines before. Cool.

Friday, February 25, 2005

dinner & drinks

last night in this sojourn ...


... too bad i accomplished nothing, and will be back soon *lol*

The Place Where It Started ...

... is The Place Where It Ends. My TMJ problem is gone. Disappeared. Nada. Well, at least not to the extent I had it before. Its a relief not to feel/hear your jaw crack every time you open your mouth to bite into food.

Now I can enjoy kolache again. Yey.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

nyhahahahahahaha! Seth gets the Spiderman kiss treatment from Summer in The OC. bwahahahahaha!

And wasn't it too long ago when "Champagne Supernova" was a hit? Now its been remade already? You don't get that nod if you write a crappy song. Bravo, Oasis.
arghhhhhhhhhh! another last-minute need-more-time parameter overhaul. waaaaaaaaaaaauuugh!

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

MyiPod Content (14.9 Gbs 02/20/2005)
... Nothing Like The Sun, Sting. if i'm left with one Sting album, this is it.
2 Future 4 U, Armand Van Helden. quite dated but never fails to stir my feet.
21 Singles, Jesus & Mary Chain
A Rush of Blood To The Head, Coldplay
Abductions and Reconstructions, Thievery Corporation
Acoustic (1993), Midnight Oil
Always Outnumbered, Never Outgunned, Chemical Brothers
American Idiot, Green Day
Antics, Interpol
APO, Apo Hiking Society
Appetite for Destruction, Guns N Roses. classic.
Back To Mine, Groove Armada
Best of 1990-2000, U2
Best of Acoustic, various artists
Best of En Vogue, En Vogue
Bible of Dreams, Juno Reactor
Big Beach Boutique II, Fatboy Slim. Brighton Beach partyyyyyyy!!!
Greatest Hits, Billy Idol
Black Diamond, Angie Stone. bangis daw. cant disagree.
Breathe, Midnight Oil
Classified, Bond
Community Service, The Crystal Method
Contraband, Velvet Revolver
Dark Dear Heart, Holly Cole
Destiny Fulfilled, Destiny's Child
Details, Frou Frou
Different, Kate Ryan
EBTG Megalist, Everything But the Girl. all my favorites.
Episode III, South Border
Essential, Miles Davis
Essential Selection Vol 1, Fatboy Slim & Paul Oakenfold
Fatherfucker, Peaches
Finally Woken, Jem
Franz Ferdinand, Franz Ferdinand
Gabrielle, Gabrielle
Genius Loves Company, Ray Charles. a final salut.
Get Born, Jet. makes me wanna jam with them.
Give Up, Postal Service
Greatest Hits, Lighthouse Family
Harmonium, Vanessa Carlton
Heavenly, various artists. my sanctuary soundtrack.
Heavier Things, John Mayer
High Octane, The Cult
Hopes and Fears, Keane
How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, U2
If I Were A Carpenter, various artists
It's All In Your Head, Eve 6
Collection, Julia Fordham. *sigh*
LCD Soundsystem, LCD Soundsystem
Leaving Through The Window, Something Corporate
Legion of Boom, The Crystal Method
Liz Phair, Liz Phair. saw her a couple of years back. amazing.
Local 83, John Mayer. spans 2 albums.
Lost Hits, various artists. the old XB/BM105/NU107 playlist. Cactus World News. Xmal Deutschland. Hoodoo Gurus. Mary's Danish. Railway Children. Colourfield. doesn't ring a bell? exactly.
Love, Angel, Music, Baby, Gwen Stefani
Mahogany Soul, Angie Stone
Mind, Body and Soul, Joss Stone
More Jazz After Dark, various artists
Nevermind, Nirvana. classic.
No Angel, Dido
No Roots, Faithless
No Stranger to Shame, Uncle Kracker. no one can do "Memphis Soul Song" like he did.
Northern Star, Groove Armada
Now That's What I Call Quite Good, The Housemartins.
Oh My God! Its The 80s, various artists. big hair, big sound. enjoy.
Oh Shit! Its the 90s, various artists. boy bands and alternative rock.
O Yeah! Ultimate Hits, Aerosmith
Palookaville, Fatboy Slim
Pop!, Erasure
Pure Cult, The Cult
Pure Moods IV, various artists
Pure R&B: The Winter Collection, various artists
Radio!, various artists
Ray, Frazier Chorus
Read My Lips, Felicia Adams
Red Sails in The Sunset, Midnight Oil
Remixes 81 - 04, Depeche Mode. A fan's super wet dream.
Rhythm Radio 2004, various artists
Rooty, Basement Jaxx. guaranteed dancefloor burner.
Schubert Dip, EMF
Screamadelica, Primal Scream
Shine Like It Does, INXS. always makes me want to be a rockstar.
Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars, Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians. an all-time favorite.
Short Circuit, Electronic. combines 2 albums. electropop never sounded so good.
Simple Things, Zero 7
Simply Red - Greatest Hits, Simply Red
Singles, The Smiths
Sirens, New Order
Songs About Jane, Maroon 5
Southern Hummingbird, Tweet
Starfish, The Church. whenever i need a hit of LSD.
Strange Cargo I & III, William Orbit
Stronger, Kate Ryan
Style, Madonna. everything in it.
Sue, Frazier Chorus
Suit/Sweat, Nelly
Tales of a Librarian, Tori Amos
Tasty, Kelis
Thank You, Jamelia
The Best of, A Flock of Seagulls
The Best of, Groove Armada. the name fits.
The Crow OST, various artists
The Definitive Collection, Lionel Richie & The Commodores
The Diary of Alicia Keys, Alicia Keys. heartburn!!!!!!!!!!
The Finest, Fine Young Cannibals
The Grey Album, DJ Danger Mouse
The Mirror Conspiracy, Thievery Corporation
The Mystery of Santo Domingo De Silos, The Monks of Silos
The Soul Sessions, Joss Stone. that voice. daaaaamn.
The Sun Kings, The Cult
The Very Best of MTV Unplugged, various artists
The Way We Do, South Border
This Is A Long Drive For Someone With Nothing To Think About, Modest Mouse
Three, Sugababes
To The 5 Boroughs, Beastie Boys
Tunog Kalye, various artists
Turn Back The Clock, Johnny Hates Jazz. pure pop that always works.
Turn On the Bright Lights, Interpol
Twisted Tenderness, Electronic
Ultimate Collection, Barry White
Variations Sur Le Même T'aime, Vanessa Paradis
Vegas, The Crystal Method
Very Best Of, Carly Simon
Vision Thing, Sisters of Mercy
Viva Hate, Morrissey
(What's The Story) Morning Glory, Oasis
When It Falls, Zero 7. late night muzak for people who hate late night muzak.
Wild For You, Karrin Allyson
Your New Favourite Band, The Hives
You've Come A Long Way, Baby, Fatboy Slim. classic.

CJ, 2 years, 7 months, in Houston circa 2005

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

beinvenido a miami

Why am i taking a shot of the everyday humdrum of an airport? its because of that bright blue Florida skies in the background. I haven't seen them in years. And I will see them again someday.

(playing: Talking Bout My Baby, Fatboy Slim. Under the big bright yellow sun ... under the big bright yellow sun ...)
woke up at 3, took off at 6, had a crappy breakfast by 10, and will be in houston (and start working) by 2. no wonder i look uglier than usual. ah, the life of a consultant.


... and they didn't have any decent shotglasses. darnit.

Monday, February 21, 2005

what th-?! Hunter Thompson blows himself away?? Crazy m'f'er ...

Friday, February 18, 2005

CAMming Out of the Dark

some shots from my 7610, reduced from 1152x864 to 500x375



rabobanking in joisey


bridging brooklyn

Thursday, February 17, 2005

bwahahahaha

Grammar God!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


Congratulations! If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be. You can smell a grammatical inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is revered by the underlings, though some may blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just jealous. Go out there and change the world.


How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)
brought to you by Quizilla
Did i miss something? When were paint-flecked, almost-grimy, splattered-with-asbestos baggy jeans the trend? I can understand if they were worn by (obviously) male adult construction workers (carrying their lunchpails), but teenage hiphop kids (complete with cap worn sideways and an oversize Avirex jacket)?

Am sticking with my suits, thank you.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Good News and Bad News (which is what i started as "Guess What I Bought Today?")

Unfortunately, I can never claim anymore, that i never bought a pack of Marlboro Lights during my lifetime.





Fortunately, they were for my British colleague Andy Coles. *s* (cue in laugh track here)

Sheesh. I got dragged into drinking beer (2 pints! there goes the Lenten abstinence) and ended up also smelling like i smoked like a chimney. Its another $25 trip to the dry cleaners for my coat *sigh*

Monday, February 14, 2005

Valentine's Schmalentines

To current lovers, may your love burn brighter and bind you both, enabling you to move past the present on the path to a tomorrow called forever.
To the longtime lovers, you've both come this far - may your love for each other never fade, through time and space
To those looking for one, never despair; it will come in one way or form, or another. but it will.
To those who have lost theirs, take comfort if you have given your best - in that there is no shame in losing. being at peace with yourself opens new doors and new horizons.
To those grouchy about this day, let the lovers have their fun - deal with it *lol*.
If you never had loved, don't worry - you will.


All the world loves lovers.
All the world loves people in love
Don’t forget it. don’t forget it.
Love whatever the price
All the world loves lovers.
All the world loves people in love
Don’t forget it. - love
Don’t forget it. - love
Love whatever the price
... love


Prefab Sprout, All The World Loves Lovers

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Entering the Gates




First time i came across Christo (i think they spelled it Cristo then), i was like 10 and i read about his project of wrapping the Florida keys in pink fabric. Kind of like, an "art-wrapper" (nyahahhaaha). "The Gates" is a 26-year vision in the making for Central Park, and finally unveiled Saturday. Fabric is still the clay upon which Christo fashions his pieces, but there's no wrapping this time. Gives off a nice colorful orange vibe for the dreary NYC winter.


By the time they get to host (nax!), i'll be friggin' 40 years old. But the commercials are cool.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

if the government is giving me a prison year for every Gb of songs i download, i'd be doing 150 already. nyhahahahahahaha.

hey, dammit - i've paid my dues (literally). $10 a month is enough *lol*

Friday, February 11, 2005

Our China Office

This is our programming crew in China. We are scared of them. Scared.



ok, its too early for Halloween ... *nyhahahahaha*

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

song of the week

Did I tell you how much I miss
Your sweet kiss?
Did I tell you I didn’t cry?
Well I lied
I lie lie lied
Over real over
When I nearly hit the face I loved
So tired of packaging the anger
Always pushing you away

Did I tell you you’re wonderful?
I miss you
Yes I do
Did I tell you that I was wrong?
I was wrong
Cos you’re wonderful yeah

Did I tell you how much I miss
Your smile?
Did I tell you I was okay?
Well no way
No way way way

You’re wonderful yeah yeah

Now now now each and every day
I realize the price I have to pay
You you’re wonderful
And now for your information
I’m walking around like an arm decoration

You you’re wonderful
So high I can’t get over it
So deep I can’t get under it
You
You’re wonderful yeah
You’re wonderful yeah yeah
You’re wonderful yeah yeah
You’re wonderful yeah yeah
Wonderful

Did I tell you you’re wonderful?
I miss you
Yes I do
Did I tell you that I was wrong?
I was wrong
For so long long long

Monday, February 07, 2005

The wonders of marketing ...



and it gets worse because its a ...

Sunday, February 06, 2005

PATRIOTS. CLOSE GAME. DYNASTY.

Corey Dillon, TOUCHDOWN! Pats 21, Iggles 14. 13 minutes to go.
ok, i take it back. mccartney, bridging generations (lookit all those lighters), goes through a rousing rendition of live and let die. wait. i only like it because i just watched the james bond movie recently. nyuk nyuk. and hey jude brings the house down. but why the hell is he saying "thank you, Superbowl?" shouldn't he be thanking Jacksonville, the city? must be old age.
shiitake. halftime and its 7-all.
SuperBowl XXXIX pick: Pats over Iggles

Saturday, February 05, 2005

went out shopping at C21. got a reversible Dockers belt, a tie rack, a thermos bottle and a replacement for my blender. since its still no-tax week in NYC, total cost was below $40. not bad. wish the no-tax week started last saturday so i could have gotten my suits less the $50-something tax.

Friday, February 04, 2005

There's always something classy about respected athletes - grown men - who cry at their retirement. Godspeed, Emmit Smith.

Thursday, February 03, 2005


the cloneds!
James Bond DVD collection review #8. By 1972, Sean Connery has really left the building. For some reason, the replacement they chose was the then-46 year old star of the TV spy series The Saint. He would go on to make 7 Bond films, one more than Connery (because Never Say Never Again was not an official Bond movie); he was 57 and looked too old by the mid-80s. He didn't make fans totally forget Connery, but the transition was complete - its the character, not the actor. This Bond had a bit more sensitivity, and injected a bit more of humor in Britain's foremost secret agent. For better or worse, the Roger Moore era began with Live and Let Die.

Live and Let Die (1973) - Guy Hamilton
The Plot
Radical. Drugs and black people. Isn't that a great recurring theme? A Caribbean island is practically a heroin factory, counting on thugs and voodoo to put the people in line (sounds like Haiti). And its leader plans to flood the US market with free drugs that will put their competitors out of business. But of course, they didn't count on a certain secret agent playing the fly in the ointment.
Grade: A-

Locales
NYC, babyyyyyyyy! The Caribbean island of San Monique (say what?). New Orleans and the Louisiana Bayou.
Grade: B+

The Man
Roger Moore. New Bond, new attitude, same ol' love machine. A nice debut.
Grade: A-

The Villain(s)
Kananga/Mr Big (Yaphet Kotto) - We have a Janus here: Kananga, de facto dictator of San Monique, seems like your everyday opportunistic third world head of state; and Mr. Big, up-and-coming drug king of the Western world. Wait a second. 3rd world? The freak has high tech stuff to become a junior SPECTRE. Too bad he was arrogant enough to off 3 British agents thus drawing attention to himself. Head gets uh, too big for such grandiose plans, so it explodes. Literally.

Tee Hee (Julius Harris) - Kananga's premier enforcer (imagine an evil Morgan Freeman). Arm chewed off by alligator, replaced with steel pincers. Would go one-on-one with Bond but ends up getting tossed off a hurtling train (kind of getting to be a Bond tradition).

Baron Samedi (Geoffrey Holder) - Kananga's voodoo priest. Showdown theatrics cut short by getting pushed into a coffinfull of snakes.

Grade: A-

The Girl(s)
Solitaire (Jane Seymour) - Kananga's ace-in-the-hole: a tarot-reader. In short, he knows in advance every move Bond makes. Except she didn't foresee falling for Bond's charms. K-Ching!

Rosie Carver (Gloria Hendry) - we wouldn't want to stereotype now: all the villains of this piece are black. The only sister we see flirting with Bond, turns out to be Kananga plant (duuh.). Gets shot by those high-tech scarecrows guarding the heroin fields.

Ms Caruso (Madeline Smith) - Italian agent doing uh, cross-training with Bond.
Grade: A-

Gadgets
Watch that has a cutting saw and also emits magnetic field. Useful for slicing ropes and pinching bullets when no one's looking. Also for unzipping women's dresses.

This wasn't Bond's - a sidemirror gun to shoot Bond's chauffeur. Why hasn't anyone picked up on that idea?

Hang glider. Did this start the trend?

Grade: A-

Bond Moments
What else is New Orleans known for, except Mardi Gras? Well, there's those street funerals that make it up as it goes along (e.g., picking the coffin's occupant from the street.

To seduce Solitaire, Bond stacks the deck in his favor by making her pick a Lovers card (from a deck-full of Lovers cards).

Bond skip-hops through a bunch of gators and crocs. Watching the making of the scene, that was amazing.

One of the best action scenes of all time would be the never-ending powerboat chase through the Louisiana bayou.

To balance the portrayal of blacks as the bad guys, the movie tosses in some redneck cops led by the irrepressible and funny Sheriff J.W. Pepper (Clifton James). He steals the scenes he's in.
Grade: B

One Liners
(Sheriff JW Pepper, finally catching up with Bond after the long and crash-laden powerboat chase
)
JW Pepper: What are you, some kinda doomsday machine, boy???

(Sheriff Pepper is informed Bond is a British secret agent)
JW Pepper: Secret agent?! On whose side??

(Bond explaining his gadget watch to his boss M)
Bond: By pulling out this button, it turns the watch into a hyper-intensified magnetic field. Powerful enough to even deflect the path of a bullet - at long range, or so Q claims...
M: I feel very tempted to test that theory right now!

(during the unzipping)
Ms Caruso: Such a delicate touch.
Bond: Sheer magnetism, darling.

(meeting Mr Big)
Bond: My name is -
Mr Big: Names are for tombstones, baby!


(after seducing Solitaire)
Solitaire: Is there time before you leave for lesson #3?
Bond: Absolutely. There's no sense in going off half-cocked.


(after Kananga blows up)
Solitaire: Where's Kananga?
Bond: Well, he always did have an inflated opinion of himself.

Grade: A-

Overall
Pressure replacing Connery? No pressure. Moore does better than anyone expected.
Grade: A-



Before Princess Leia and Princess Amidala, there was ... Solitaire.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

St Louuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuis, babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
James Bond DVD collection review #7. Sean Connery is back in the building. For a couple of million reasons. He liked the script, is mostly set in Las Vegas. They even considered Americanizing the character, but naaah, wouldn't work. Connery saves the day after some shrewd negotiation, but doesn't really top any of his better performances (you could see that he's getting old and - gasp! - out of shape). Guy Hamilton, who megged Goldfinger, returns to direct Connery in his final - yep, we heard that before - performance as James Bond. 12 years later, Connery does return in a controversial and unofficial Bond movie, Never Say Never Again, a rewrite of Thunderball, just to thumb his nose at his former bosses. That film is never part of the DVD collection.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) - Guy Hamilton
The Plot
SPECTRE (aren't they all dead yet???) once more looks skyward and fashions a satellite laser weapon (Goldeneye will take the idea further). But it all starts with some diamond smuggling affecting the world diamond market, and the trail leads to Las Vegas. Actually, it really starts with Bond roughing people up all over the world in his quest for Blofeld, who's responsible for his wife's death in the previous O.H.M.S.S.. He does finally kill Blofeld. And so why is Blofeld still the villain of this plot? Ay caramba, we're back where we started from.
Grade: B

Locales
Amsterdam, Las Vegas, Nevada desert, and some oil rig off California.
Grade: B+

The Man
Sean Connery. As he is in gimme-the-money mode, he doesn't do anything here that betters his past Bond portrayals. Still unflappable and still the lady-killer..
Grade: A-

The Villain(s)
Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Charles Gray) - before he can even have facial plastic surgery, Bond nips his medical procedure in the bud, and dispatches him to hell. Or so Bond thinks. Just like the cockroach he is, he just moves from one phase to another, this time operating a laser satellite plant powered by smuggled diamonds (allegedly fronted by a Texan multimillionaire), in the midst of Vegas. Again holds the world hostage by selectively blowing up the superpowers' arsenal, he hies off to his offshore oil rig headquarters for the final showdown. Which of course ends up in him being blown up. Again.

Mr Kidd (Putter Smith) and Mr Wint (Bruce Glover) - Two characters who seem to be Three Stooges rejects, but highly efficient (if theatrical - they're openly gay) assassins for Blofeld. Never gets to tangle face-to-face with Bond until the final scene. And then you scream "it's about time!!" when they're finally bumped off.

Bambi (Lola Larson) and Thumper (Trina Parks) - who thinks up of these characters? As if we didn't have enough campiness with the two gay assassins above, we have some Olympic gymnastic rejects, who give Bond a 15-minute workout.
Grade: B-

The Girl(s)
Tiffany Case (Jill St John) - one link in the smuggling chain, and soon is rolling between the sheets with Bond. Then swings back with Blofeld. And then back with Bond. This character isn't as memorable as past Bond girls.

Plenty O'Toole (Lana Wood) - one of those opportunistic Vegas girls who latch on to wealthy gamblers. Gets tossed out a hotel window ... of course, there's a pool below. Main 'clame' (thats short for 'claim to fame' *lol*): sister of Natalie Wood. Trivia fact: Natalie was married to Robert Wagner, who then married Jill St John 9 years after Natalie's death.
Grade: B

Gadgets
Let's see, there's this simple mousetrap he uses to fool anyone who frisks him, a fake rubber thumbmark with someone else's fingerprint (perfect for passing yourself off as someone else or framing people), and that belt he uses to scale the hotel penthouse. How does he know he's going to use these gadgets at any given time? Howww??? *lol*
Grade: B

Bond Moments
Keeping up the American tone of the film, Bond has a spectacular car chase around Vegas with several police cars ending up as wrecks.

To push things to an absurd level, Bond drives around the Nevada desert in a commandeered moon buggy. Thugs of course give chase but they weren't hired for their intelligence and/or common sense.

(assuming courier Peter Franks' identity, Bond switches wallets, prompting Tiffany to be stunned and proclaim, "You killed James Bond!" Bond is more famous than the Pope. Even dumb blondes know him.

Only scores with Tiffany here. Poor guy. He probably needs Viagra.
Grade: B

One Liners
(Scouring the world for Blofeld, one scene has Bond finding a beautiful exotic lady by the pool
)
Woman: Is there something I can do for you?
Bond: Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. There's something I'd like you to get off your chest
. (then whips off her bra and proceeds to choke her with it)

(in the casino, a woman baring a deep cleavage approaches him)
Woman: Hi, I'm Plenty.
Bond: But of course you are.
(note: this dialogue was originally going to be used in Goldfinger when Pussy Galore introduces herself. It was scrapped because it was deemed too suggestive *lol*)

(after Plenty is thrown out the window)
Bond: Exceptionally fine shot.
Thug: I didn't know there was a pool down there.


(motioning Bond inside the elevator)
Blofeld: You press L, Mr Bond. The word 'Lobby' begins with "L".


(after switching satellite control tapes and shoving the real one down Tiffany's bikini)
Bond: Your problems are all behind you now.

Grade: A-

Overall
Weaker than its predecessors, Connery should have gone out with a bigger bang.
Grade: B



"My, Mr. Bond. I'm shaken. AND stirred."
T.O. talking about God?? What is the world coming to? hahahahaha

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Hoo-haaaaa! Columbia House apologized. And said I would be credited back. Should I still cancel my membership? I'm still leaning towards that. Abangan ....
James Bond DVD collection review #6. Sean Connery has left the building. Who you wanna call? Why, George Lazenby, of course. With the only Bond actor the world has known so far riding off to new horizons, it was going to be a gamble to find another one who could fill in the shoes, or at least say the lines with equal conviction. Much has been made of top model Lazenby's efforts to get the role, and as it is, he did fit the part. Though this would be his only Bond film, fans are at least divided halfway on where On Her Majesty's Secret Service stands in the Bond pantheon. Peter Hunt, serving as film editor for 3 previous Bond films, takes the directorial reins and does a great job for a debut - the masterful ski chase down the slopes is magnificent enough. O.H.M.S.S. is said to have the distinction of being the movie closest to Ian Fleming's books, and it shows a darker side of the British secret agent. The ending also veers off from what was already traditional for a Bond film. A bold step really.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) - Peter Hunt
The Plot
SPECTRE, furious at their plans being screwed so many times by Bond, never learn their lesson and try again. This time, they're staying down to earth and are just about to unleash a deadly virus on the world. This must be the movie that inspired Saddam Hussein. Meanwhile, Bond makes a deal with a crime lord to locate SPECTRE and its cockroach-like (read: can't seem kill the sumbitch - but wait, that applies to 007 as well *lol*) leader.
Grade: B+

Locales
London, Lisbon and breathtaking Swiss Alps.
Grade: B+

The Man
George Lazenby. Well aware of the consequences of playing this much-coveted role, Lazenby does well ... and then just quits after one movie.
Grade: A-

The Villain(s)
Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Telly Savalas) - still up to his shenanigans, this time putting up a viral/germ lab in the Swiss Alps fronting as an allergy research institute. Who is funding this guy?? I bet its the CIA. "Kojak" steals and nails the role of Blofeld in this movie, and its a wonder why they didn't keep him.

Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat) - running out of pretty assassins, Blofeld only has this stiff German "bootcamp directress" running the "allergy institute." Actually pulls the trigger that causes the first-ever Bond tragedy. Never did get punished.
Grade: A

The Girl(s)
Tracy Di Vincenzo (Diana Rigg) - Wayward daughter of crime lord Draco who goes straight after falling in love with a persistent James Bond. Becomes the first major Bond girl to bite the dust (okay, Aki in You Only Live Twice doesn't really count. We don't even know her last name). Having success previously with Honor Blackman (a.k.a. Pussy Galore), they poached another The Avengers star, Ms Emma Peel herself. Trivia fact: the DVD special features of the Bond series are narrated by Patrick Macnee (a.k.a. John Steed)

Ruby Bartlett (Angela Scoular) - allergy patient and another in a long line of Bond's sidedishes. At least before he got hitched.

Speaking of sidedishes, wasn't it convenient that Tracy was killed? *lol*
Grade: A-

Gadgets
The first Bond film that does rely on Bond's wits and improv skills and not too much on gadgetry. The only thing of note here is a safecracker/photocopier combo. I don't think sales of that machine took off.
Grade: B-

Bond Moments
In wake of Blofeld's disappearance, MI-6 wants to call off the dogs. Bond resigns. (Not! Ms Moneypenny saves the day)

Posing as a kilt-wearing genealogist, Bond gets a girl's "number" by having the girl write it in lipstick up his leg.

After being rescued by Tracy (conveniently! wasn't she back home in Lisbon?) from SPECTRE thugs in the midst of ski rink, Bond hides out in a stable. Proclaiming his love and proposing, Bond actually sleeps separately from her. (disappointed groans from audience)

Bond gets married! To the daughter of a crime lord, no less. Vegas bookies lose a lot of money. Q even calls him 'James.' What is going on??

Ms Moneypenny, after years of teasing by James, finally has her heart ground to dust witnessing James finally tying the knot
with someone else.

Driving off to their honeymoon (mere hours after saying their vows), the malevolent Blofeld (with a neck brace) overtakes their car - and Irma Bunt sprays it with bullets. Tracy bites the dust. Must've shocked audiences then. To the delight of the swinging bachelor crowd that Bond seems to have abandoned.

Actually, I think Ms Moneypenny set the whole thing up; in bitterness, gave up the info to Blofeld ... *nyhahahaha*
Grade: A

One Liners
(After saving Tracy from drowning (and kicking ass), Tracy just ups and leaves without even a thank you
)
Bond: This never happened to the other fella.

(during ski chase, SPECTRE thug gets chopped to pieces by falling into snowblowing machine)
Bond: He had lots of guts.

Grade: B

Overall
I thought I wouldn't like it but it turns out quite better than I expected.
Grade: B+



The first James Bond Cameltoe sighting.

Calling Better Business Bureau!

As of 9.44 AM today, I officially declare two corporate entities that SUCK-ASS big time.

First of, we have the much vaunted Ticketmaster, who has the sheer monopoly on at least 90% of event tickets in the USA. Whether you want to watch a ballgame, attend a concert or visit a museum, Ticketmaster will be there for you.

And therein lies the rub. Since you don't have any options beyond Ticketmaster, you are left to scramble for tickets especially if they notify you in advance. Case in point: U2 at Madison Square Garden on May 21st. Receiving the email receipt over the weekend for the Internet Sale opening on Monday (yesterday), I started checking for tickets as soon as the clock struck 9 AM.

An hour later, nada.

Obviously, if you ever get the chance to even get tickets, they will be for the bad seats, not to mention expensive ones. MSG is not cheap, and neither is U2. Still, what's the point of having only one option to buy your tickets? Everyone is funnelled through the same pinhole, and you will have a crush on the online processing that likely leaves more than 50% of buyers empty-handed. Were there even really tickets? Who wants to waste time checking the Ticketmaster site every 5 minutes? Who??? Not even U2 is worth that, ok?

The whole online purchasing thing is supposed to make our lives easier and convenient. You pay a premium for such a service, but that's fine. I have no problems buying tickets to the Knicks games before (probably because no one wants to watch them, and at the same time no wants to pay Ticketmaster's ridiculous prices). But to leave the buying public's options to only one entity's hands - that's fucking insane. Even AT&T was cut down to size. Pearl Jam had the right idea. Can we start a campaign drive to shut down Ticketmaster?

My disbelieving friend, who thinks he can still score tickets, tries the MSG website. And he is redirected to .... (drum roll please)

Maybe we'll still get tickets, who knows? But the damage is done. Ticketmaster officially makes it on my Hate List.
+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +
The 2nd idiot on my Hate List is Columbia House, whose great promos for DVDs and CDs have now run their course.

As a member, you get certain discounts on email promos, and purchasing from them earns you FunCash, which is like points that accumulate and are redeemable for additional products at the end of a year. The other year, from my FunCash points, I only paid shipping charges for Bernardo Bertolucci's The Last Emperor. Not bad.

Last December, I saved up enough FunCash points for a special edition DVD of Saving Private Ryan. Total remaining charges: $9.71. Again, not bad.

Two weeks later, I still didn't have my dvd. That's strange - that's the first time that happened. I emailed their customer support, asking about it. Standard reply comes back: please allow for 4 weeks delivery. Being a reasonable person, I said ok and waited. 2005 rolled in, and I still don't have my DVD.

I emailed them again and requested that they should reship the item again (at no cost), and guess what: the standard reply came back and also stating that they shipped it in December. DUH! If I got it, why would I go to the trouble of asking, and even if I was a malicious person, what's the point of pretending I didn't receive any and asking for another copy of the DVD? Why?? WHY???

To add insult to injury (in a manner of speaking), 3 weeks later I got another email stating my order has been shipped. I was elated even grudgingly, because I thought they finally sorted it out ...

... but woe is my name! I have been charged $24.92 this time! WHAT THE HELL. WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FRIGGIN' FUCK.

You think I took that sitting down? Oh no. Long email to Columbia House. Fuck 'em. There are other options out there.