rough trade

Let's start with this:

This is to call your attention to an incident that occurred last Friday night, November 24 at the Alpine Cinema 5, for the 7:45 PM screening of “Casino Royale”.

A group of young men (teenagers) were at the two last rows of the right side, and as teenagers these days are wont to do, were being boisterous and playful. I am used to certain audiences in your cinema; however in my previous experiences there, such groups tend to quiet down when the movie commences.

It wasn't to be this time around as the rudeness level started to increase thru the film, annoying most of the other patrons of the cinema. Most of us just wanted to spend a typical Friday night in the neighborhood cinema, and were trying to understand where this latest James Bond plot was taking us. Thanks to certain (paying) customers, we were denied even this simple pleasure.

The young men seemed to be all together in a group, though it didn't seem that way when at least twice during the screening; some of them nearly came to blows, heaping insults upon each other, while some tried to calm their rowdy friends down. We suspect it was all just an act just to annoy the other customers of the cinema, because they were laughing together again thereafter. At one point, we even smelled the familiar scent of someone smoking. As if their incessant talking and arguing weren't enough. Not to highlight certain stereotypes or anything, but these young teenagers loudly cheered when Algeria was mentioned in the film (Eva Green's character had an Algerian necklace of sorts). Obviously the Bay Ridge neighborhood is what it is, but then again, it speaks volumes about manners and respect, and how certain sectors of American society have no clue what these are. Perhaps we can just isolate it to age and immaturity? I am curious as to how these young men behaved, if they did watch “Borat” in the Alpine.

An Alpine staffer was called in during these events, and obviously, the offending parties were not even listening to his warning, or scared enough to behave. We understand that since the Alpine Cinema has been under a financial strain of late, and there is no need for tighter and robust security to maintain order (most of the time?). However, as last Friday's incident demonstrates, it is unfair for the remaining 90% of the patrons to sit through such an ordeal and nothing is done about the offending 10% (who, at the conclusion of the movie, ran out in seconds to avoid a potentially angry mob). People exhibiting boorish behavior should be thrown out after two reasonable warnings; it doesn't matter if there's 2 of them or 20, or if they're 18 or 80.

The Alpine has been a great neighborhood haunt, being an institution in itself; the convenient location and affordable ticket price enhances its community value. But if at that cost we would have to tolerate rowdy patrons, perhaps it’s better to pay a bit more elsewhere for a safer, enjoyable movie experience.

at least i was open-minded. perhaps the current raves and $$$ being raked in changed the doubters' minds eh?

if only for that crappy event as i described above, i will have to watch this film again and again. you know the DVD is going to get added to my collection.

my BFG beats your BFG

ah, what can i say? fresh air. no invisible car, no trick gadgets, no sly humor ... Daniel Craig smashes the Bond image and remakes it in his own. i can hear the howls from the Moore and Brosnan purists. ok, fellas, they were good and they had their runs. i loved them. but at the same time you can't be eating the same food everyday. that being said, i miss Q. oh, wait. this is a reboot. we'll see Q back in Bond #22.

what's not to like? gritty in-your-face action (parkour, anyone?), with the bull-in-a-china-shop approach. fast cars. Bond as human as can be, whether opening a can of whupass on someone, or falling in love. solid supporting roles by Giancarlo Giannini (the memorable Pazzi in Hannibal) and Jeffrey Wright (a black Felix Leiter). oh, and look, there's the trademark Michael Wilson sighting! and the signature introduction gets saved for last. brilliant!

oh if we must quibble ... LeChiffre's not that a big leaguer when it comes to bad guys (and he gets offed by someone else). and i'm a little unconvinced about Eva Green. also thanks to the (young American-with-Mediterranean-ethnicity) assholes two rows behind, i got distracted during the talky portions.

you know what they say ... blonds have more fun.

despite being trounced at the box office two weeks in a row by a bunch of dancing penguins ... let it be said: Bond is back!

another day in paradise

James Bond DVD collection review #20
Die Another Day (2002) - Lee Tamahori
The Plot
A rags-to-riches adventurer suddenly becomes a worldwide philanthropist and diamond businessman but what is his connection to a rogue North Korean soldier whom Bond was prisoner-swapped for? Bond teams up with a sexy NSA operative to find out the truth, the whole truth, and another way to avoid the clutches of Father Time and Death. And of course, stop that satellite over our heads which 'can harness the power of the sun' and also turn us all into sizzling sisig. hello, Moonraker?
Grade: B+

Locales
North/South Korea, Hong Kong, Cuba, London, Iceland
Grade: A-

The Man
Pierce Brosnan
Shaken but not stirred. An obviously graying and a bit middle-heavy Brosnan returns for the 20th Bond film on its 40th anniversary. There were some mitigating circumstances as to why this turned out to be his last Bond film, but he does go out in style, and his 8-year run as the world's most famous secret agent is just as good as any before him.

Jesus? Jesus, is that you?
Grade: B+

The Villain(s)
Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens) - GG. Not the fish. A maverick operator that echoes shades of Gates and Branson built his diamond empire overnight. Bond discovers that his diamonds are copycats, which would explain his market share and resources - an ice palace in Iceland, the latest hardware and technology, and a killer satellite (i mean, where are the checks and balances in this world?). It was great unveiling the plot twist that the slick businessman was none other than ...

Colonel Moon (Will Yun Lee) - Hardline North Korean military man itching to invade his southern neighbors at the drop of a pin, contrary to the his General father's conciliatory stance. In the first part of the film, Bond stops his weapons build-up just off the DMZ and manages to drop him off a waterfall - but Bond pays the price by being a year-long house guest of the Commies. Surviving and undergoing a radical DNA transfer process in Cuba, Col. Moon ironically takes on a new personality similar to Bond - a dashing playboy millionaire named Gustav Graves, and never gives up on his dream to reunite the two Koreas. By force, of course.

Zao (Rick Yune) - Colonel Moon's main partner, and all-around badass. His face disfigured when Bond rigged a diamond cache with C-4, Jinx and Bond interrupt his getting the same DNA treatment in Cuba. Goes head to head with Bond's Aston Martin with his pimped-out Jaguar XKR. Loses and gets buried in ice water.


i've heard of piercings and expressing yourself, but this is so ... over!

Vlad (Mikhail Gorevoy) - Graves' tech guy, whose just as dumb as any. Gets swept out of a 747 during the final battle at 30,000 feet.

Mr. Kil (Lawrence Makoare) - henchman who gets some uh, head laser surgery courtesy of Jinx. I swear, they have a Henchmen Union that through the years, provided muscle and numbers for the next Bond villain. In effect, they change employers every couple or years or so.
Grade: A-

The Girl(s)
Jinx (Halle Berry) - Fresh off Monster's Ball, the Oscar-winning Berry takes on less serious matters to play Giacinta 'Jinx' Johnson, NSA operative who has as much gadgets and derring-do as Bond but still needs him to save her ass. At least she was better here than in Catwoman.


the Ursula Andress for the next generation. maybe.

Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike) - A great find whose previous work was confined to TV, Pike plays the aptly-named ice queen, a covert MI-6 agent inserted into Graves' organization as his publicist, but turns out to be the traitor that sent Bond to the NoKor slammer. At 5'9" with musical talents and a Magna Cum Laude (English Lit), Ros is formidable indeed. An Olympic-class fencer in the film, she of course, dies by the sword (or to be specific, Jinx's knife).

that's one thing she never got off her chest (booooooo! lame!)

Peaceful Fountains of Desire (Rachel Grant) - Yes, that was her character's name, a masseuse sent by the Chinese Reds to find out what Bond was up to. And despite the small role, Grant is no slouch in the name-drop department. She was born in the Philippines but her grampa is Baron Raymond De Longueuil (a second cousin to the Queen), making her pops Michael Charles Grant son and heir to the Baron's line of royalty. Start Googling her, dorks.

Ms Moneypenny (Samantha Bond) - And to finally finish it all, yes, by all means let's have the long-suffering MI-6 secretary as part of the Girls lineup (the character has been there right from the beginning). After 19 films enduring Bond's teasing and double-entendres, and even a marriage, she finally gets to ...

... or maybe not.

I don't care what you say, and I don't care if she has a few clever lines; Madonna will never make it to this list.
Grade: A

Gadgets
This is hands-down the most high-tech of all the Bond films - where do I even start?

We can start with the tricked-out cars (boys will be boys) - the film marks a return to the Aston Martin line with the Vanquish ... ah yes, the car. How is it different? Of course, it has all the usual armaments and armor. But now with great CGI techniques, Bond can have an invisible car. An invisible car! Assuredly, this is Tom Swift territory and if MI-6 could cook up all this gadgets, we should be able to stop terrorists even before they can execute their dastardly plans. Why do we build gadgets to eliminate the problem, instead of preventing the problem? That being said, invisibility is always über-cool. It helped Bond defeat Zao in the ice palace.


if everyone had one, we'd all be in emergency rooms or dead. so no.

Bond and his cohorts invade Korea by surfing - no, not via the Internet, idiot - and their surfboards concealed a motherlode of extra devices like explosives and a transmitter (used to hijack the contact for Colonel Moon) doubling as a combat knife.

Bond is given another Omega watch by Q ("its your twentieth, I believe" - in reference to this 20th Bond outing) which has a laser. Earlier, his 19th watch had a detonator for C-4 explosives (used to create a diversion - and subsequently scar pretty boy Zao's face).

One of the cooler things given by Q was the sonic agitator ring, which when twisted, emitted high-decibel sonics to shatter glass. Bond uses it twice - a mark of usefulness.

Jinx, not to be outdone, uses a cellphone as a timer for detonating a bomb, as well as a rappelling device.

Graves, of course has his Icarus satellite and his high-tech suit, capable of communicating with the satellite, as well as generating 100kV of electricity (talk about a joy buzzer).

are friends electric? do androids dream of electric sheep?
Grade: A-

Bond Moments
We never see Bond suffering that much, so when the opener (a brazen assault on a North Korean shores and walking into the lion's den and orchestrating an escape similar to Tomorrow Never Dies) results in Bond getting imprisoned for a year - and the eventual rescinding of his license to kill - you know its going to get interesting.

Curses! The franchise finally softens its stance on swear words - Jinx calls Miranda a "bitch". In all the Bond movies, despite all the naughty talk, characters never ever say bad words.

The makers of South Park, watching the Graves' Icarus satellite decimate the DMZ like God's wrath from heaven, found their bogeyman and started working on Team America.


new extreme sport: Avoid The Jet Engine!

Bond, perhaps still smarting from M's decision to let him rot in a Korean cell and only pull him out because she thought he broke down, shoots, well, nicks her - in a hostage situation while using a virtual reality headset.

The new Q (not cottoning to Bond's quip for him to be called R), John Cleese, as usual makes the rounds of gadget showcasing, and suffers through Bond's penchant to mess around with things he shouldn't touch (ex. Rosa Klebb's spiked shoe in From Russia With Love and the jet-pack from Thunderball). Of course, it is Bond who is visibly impressed when Q unveils the new Aston Martin Vanquish ...

And technology also plays a hand in one of the best moments - where Ms Moneypenny uses Q's virtual reality headgear, and finally gets Bond to make good on all the '40 years' of teasing.
Grade: A-

One Liners
Miranda: This is crazy. You're a double O.
Bond: It's only a number...
Gooooooooaaaaallll!

Mr. Chang: Hong Kong's our turf now, Bond.
Bond: Well, don't worry. I'm not here to take it back.

Bond: Give me the old fashioned target range, Quartermaster.
Q: Yes, well, it's called the future, so get used to it.

Bond: Check the tape. You'll find he's dead and she only has a flesh wound.
Q: There's always an excuse, isn't there, Double-O-Zero?

Q: ... Your new transportation!
[sees nothing on the platform]
Bond: I think you've been down here too long...

Verity: I see you handle your weapon well.
Bond: I have been known to keep my tip up.

Graves: Care to place a bet, Verity?
Verity: No, thanks. I don't like cockfights.

Miranda: I'll show you your room.
Bond: A palace of ice; you must feel right at home.

Miranda: Mr. Bond. And Miss...?
Jinx: Swift, "Space and Technology" magazine.
Miranda: Really? I take it Mr. Bond's been explaining his Big Bang theory?
Jinx: Oh yeah, I think I got the thrust of it.

Bond: You know, I've missed your sparkling personality.
Zao: [punching Bond in the stomach] How's that for a punch line?
Grade: A-

Overall
Perhaps panned in retrospect due to its heavy use of gadgetry (an invisible car, indeed!), the franchise had to keep playing out the "can-you-top-this" card, even at the expense of putting bits and pieces of what was already done before, to a pastiche that really works more than doesn't. How else were you going to raise the stakes? You've barely seen Bond squirm or suffer at the hands of villains (in my mind, only one qualifies: the death of his wife Tracy at the hands of Ernst Blofeld through Irma Bunt in OHMSS), so putting him in torture row while the world changed, blurring his purpose in the world, was a welcome change. We've been too coddled. We actually get a bit more coddling here, when a simple matter of putting a bullet in Jinx's head turns into a foreplay with laser surgery (which fails) and death by drowning in ice water (also fails). Alas, after being captured and tortured, Bond would never allow that to happen again. The movie succeeds, even with its soulless gadgetry, even with Madonna. And you knew Desmond Llewelyn's ghost was hiding there somewhere.

Well, screw the critics ($456M gross). Every new Bond is like a visit from a longtime friend. And this coming Friday, after 4 long years, the friend is stopping by once again. 20 years of gadgetry, breath-taking stunts and gorgeous women will be rebooted for a new era. Hope it'll be as glorious as the last one.

In closing, I'm leaving you and this two-year, 20-film review (whew!) with a line from Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs), who plays bull-headed NSA Director Damien Falco, which may succinctly describes this thing I foisted on you, dear reader:

Torture you? That's a good idea. I like that.
Grade: A-

around the world

James Bond DVD collection review #19
The World Is Not Enough (1999) - Michael Apted
The Plot
Any story involving Denise Richards should be taken with a grain of salt and a lot of ogling. Mmmmm ... Denise Richards. Ok, sorry. Back to the program. An oil magnate, Robert King, gets killed within MI-6 headquarters, and all signs point to a former KGB assassin who previously kidnapped King's daughter, Elektra. Bond then uncovers a plot to put the world's oil supply in the hands of one person, with a staged nuclear explosion obliterating Istanbul, and Elektra may or may not be so innocent after all. A trifle complicated story (just let the science stuff slide by), but one more on a personal level to the Bond mythos.
Grade: B+

Locales
Bilbao, London, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Istanbul
Grade: B+

The Man
Pierce Brosnan
Approaching the five zero line, Brosnan seems in good shape for a daredevil secret agent (note that Roger Moore played the role well into his 50s). It does the character a lot of good here, being off-balance and playing catch-up for most of the movie. Brosnan puts his acting chops to good use, because we have an angry man here.
Grade: A-

The Villain(s)
Renard (Victor Zokas) (Robert Carlyle, OBE) - ex-KGB assassin turned terrorist; another agent put a bullet in his brain, but not enough to kill him. However, it numbed his nerves and his ability to feel pain - that is until the bullet finally reaches his cerebral cortex and kills him. In short, a man already dead with nothing to lose. Kidnaps Elektra King, eventually becomes her lover and partner to remake the world. Carlyle, best known for his work in Trainspotting and The Full Monty, is a menacing villain, although I feel its a kind of understated menace.

Trivia note: By the way, we should always put the OBE after his name, because the dude's an Officer of the Order of the British Empire. Brosnan has an honorary one too. Moore in the meantime, is a Knight, outranking them both.


"Give. Me. Back. My Video iPod!"

Gabor (John Seru) - Strongman/bodyguard for Elektra King.

Bull (Mr. Bullion) (Goldie) - a henchman for Valentin Zukovsky (Robbie Coltrane, reprising the role) but secretly in Elektra King's payroll. Shot by Zukovsky himself. Goldie is UK electonica artist, specializing in drum n' bass.

Sasha Davidov (Ulrich Thomsen) - another King henchman tasked to impersonate a Russian Atomic Energy official, for Renard's ploy to steal plutonium from a decommissioned ICBM site. Bond takes his place instead.

Mr Lachaise (Patrick Malahide) - banker who kept Robert King's money and unwittingly retrieved by Bond, which was set up to explode upon close proximity to King's lapel pin.
Grade: B+

The Girl(s)
Elektra King (Sophie Marceau) - heiress to a billion dollar oil business, Elektra was stricken with Stockholm Syndrome during her kidnapping. Teaming up with her own captor Renard, she proceeds to a) kill off her father; b) kill off M for advising her father during her kidnapping; and c) destroy competing oil pipelines via a staged nuclear explosion in the Bosphorus using a hijacked Russian submarine, leaving her company as the sole provider of oil in Europe. Talk about a woman's wrath. I guess it was fitting that Bond kills a Bond girl, for the first time ever.


forget about the French surrendering ... you'd give yourself up for her

Dr. Christmas Jones (Denise Richards) - I guess B-movies can attract some casting agent's attention. And just like Teri Hatcher before her, she snags a plum role - as a nuclear weapons expert cleaning up a Russian missile base where unfortunately, Renard was planning to steal enough plutonium for a nuclear blast. Of course, you'll have the sly Christmas jokes somewhere in the movie. And to be honest, this seems like the highlight of Denise's career - what with the ugly divorce with Charlie Sheen and this. As Luke Cage would say, "Christmas!"


if this is a nuclear physicist, then i'm an astronaut.

Dr. Molly Warmflash (Serena Scott Thomas) - I seriously doubt if there was anyone in London named Warmflash. Do you? Really? Anyway, she's the in-house MI-6 doctor who "clears" Bond for active duty, after sustaining injuries from falling on the then-unfinished Millennium Dome.

Julietta the Cigar Girl (Maria Grazia Cucinotta) - Cigar Girl? More like Kickass Girl. After nearly killing Bond at MI-6 HQ, leads him around the Thames in a high-speed powerboat chase, then commits suicide in a hot air balloon. One of the few that slipped through Bond's hands. Not bad for the village girl in Il Postino.


"you never called, you never wrote, you left me pregnant..."
Grade: A

Gadgets
In keeping up with the heavy ad-placement, Visa issues him a credit card lockpick (notice that he never uses the same gadget twice, even though the earlier versions may be much more efficient).

Early in the film, his Walther P99 handgun creates a stun flash and lets him overpower the "Swiss bankers" surrounding him.

Bond also gets to impress Christmas early with the grappling hook attached to his watch which allows him to leap over buildings in a single bound! - ok, no, just to get out of a silo in the ground.

X-Ray glasses probably can be bought at any science kit store. Of course, Bond uses them to check out who's packing heat; you know, he's not gonna uh, use them to check out women's underwear.

Bond gets to ride in two nifty vehicles this time around - a mini-speedboat used to chase Julietta around the Thames and some London streets (actually, Q's "fishing" boat - which puts the old guy in a foul mood) and a new BMW roadster (which only has limited screentime with its taking out an enemy helicopter with a rocket before being sliced in two - literally - which again, should've put Q in a foul mood).

Speaking of the Q branch, among its showcased goodies would be a bagpipe-cum-flame thrower, and the "safety ball" - a jacket that inflates into a protective rubber cage shaped like a ball (which he uses on the ski slopes to protect Elektra and himself from an explosion and a small avalanche).


Dadgum! So that's how they built Shirley Manson!
Grade: B+

Bond Moments
You have the requisite Bond stuff - car chases, boat chases, ski chases, escape from underwater, wanton destruction of property. Three stand out: the 15-minute opener where he chases Julietta around the Thames (in one sequence, his speedboat dives underwater and coolly fixes his tie before resurfacing), the destruction of Zukovsky's caviar factory with the use of helicopters that have tree-cutters (a vertical set of circular blades), and the high-speed pursuit of an explosive device through an empty oil pipeline (that would make a cool ride in a James Bond theme park someday ... c'mon make it happen, people!!).

Again, as a nod to past films, the ending has the MI-6 people looking for Bond in Istanbul, but thermal imaging shows him lying down alone - until a pair of legs appear underneath him.


think about it this way ... its good practice for the Winter Olympics

M gets to have some more substantial screentime than chewing out 007 by getting imprisoned, and taking a page from Bond himself, uses the batteries of a clock to power the homing device of the nuclear device that Renard stole.

Once again, Q steals Bond's thunder by hinting of his retirement (i guess if Bond's improvisational use of his speedboat wasn't enough, the wrecking of the BMW would convince it was enough stress to deal with Bond), and introducing his eventual replacement, R (perfectly done by the respected John Cleese). Desmond Llewelyn, son of a Welsh coal miner, a British Army 2nd Lieutenant in WWII, a real-life gadget-hater, and the only actor to work with all 5 James Bonds (to that date), died in an car accident in 1999 after the release of the movie.

Yeah, that even trumped Bond shooting Elektra dead.
Grade: A-

One Liners
Bond: ...A shadow operation?
M: ...Remember 007, shadows always remain in front or behind... never on top.

Bond: Construction isn't exactly my speciality.
M: Quite the opposite, in fact.

Bond: Let's skirt the subject, shall we...?
[Takes off Dr. Warmflash's lower garments]

Ms. Moneypenny: James! Have you brought me a souvenir from your trip? Chocolates? An engagement ring?
Bond: I thought you might enjoy one of these.
[gives Ms. Moneypenny a cigar tube]
Ms. Moneypenny: How romantic. I know exactly where to put that.
[throws the cigar tube in the garbage]
James Bond: Oh Moneypenny, the story of our relationship: close, but no cigar.


"Oh, James! Is that what I think it is?"

Bond: I've always wanted to have Christmas in Turkey.
Christmas: Was that a Christmas joke?
Bond: From me? Never.

Bond: [in bed with Jones] I was wrong about you.
Christmas: Yeah, how so?
Bond: I thought Christmas only comes once a year.

Zukovsky: Can't you just say "hello" like a normal person?

Bond: What's your plan for the bomb?
Renard: You first. Or could it be you don't have a plan?
Bond: That bomb will never leave this room.
Renard: Neither will you.

Bond: If you're Q, does that make him R?
R: Ah yes, the legendary 007 wit, or at least half of it.

Julietta: Would you like to check my figures?
Bond: Oh, I'm sure they're perfectly rounded.


trust me on this: the guy holding Denise Richards is still bragging about it today.

Bond: I suppose we all have to pay the piper sometime. Right, Q?
Q: Oh, pipe down, 007!
Bond: Was it something I said?
Q: No, something you destroyed. My fishing boat! For my retirement, away from you!

Q: I've always tried to teach you two things. First, never let them see you bleed.
Bond: And the second?
Q: Always have an escape plan.
Exit Stage Down.

Grade: A-

Overall
The World is Not Enough, with the title taken from the Bond family motto, strives to be a darker film than the past two, with seemingly everyone being damaged by the events around them - an unfeeling and dying Renard, a psychotic Elektra, and even Bond himself loses his trademark cool at times (and we all got retinal damage ogling Christmas Jones). Which probably makes Michael Apted, the 3rd different Bond director since John Glen and whose dramatic credits include Coal Miner's Daughter and Gorky Park, a suitable helmer for the project. It was the time of the Y2K hysteria and no one knew what would happen at the turn of the millennium - hence, the dark tone of the film. It would then quite a twist of fate - or maybe fittingly - that the beloved Desmond Llewelyn would also take his leave prior to the turning point.
Grade: A-

dedicated solemnly and gleefully to Mr. Desmond Llewelyn (1914-1999)

always a day away

James Bond DVD collection review #18
Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) - Roger Spottiswoode
The Plot
Someone is trying to sell news by creating them. Who else could it be but a media magnate, with the power and resources of small country behind him - hey, stealth ship, anyone? I mean, what audacity - to spark a war between the Brits and the Chinese (set prior to the 1997 Hong Kong handover). And it does make sense - consolidating and restricting the flow of information (the Internet was still foreign to the masses then) can make you a god. Utterly delicious.
Grade: A


"I'm James Hong, and this is my associate, Miss Kong."

Locales
Russia, Hamburg, Vietnam, South China Sea
Grade: B+

The Man
Pierce Brosnan
Brosnan fully settles into the Bond role, smoothly making the character his own as well keeping up with the mannerisms that it called for. He even renews his verbal jousting with Ms Moneypenny. The world is in good hands.
Grade: A

The Villain(s)
Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce) - Hello, Mr. Robert Maxwell! Hello, Mr. Ted Turner! Hello, Mr. Rupert Murdoch! Hello, Mr. Roger Ailes! For those not in the know, those names are giants who built media empires. These personalities, plus a huge does of megalomania, have melded into the Bond villain of the piece. Carver, who heads the slyly-named CMGN (Carver Media Group Network), aims to use the powers of the Fourth Estate, technology and plain old skullduggery to achieve global domination of information. I mean, they were Fox News before we even hated Fox News. And as usual with these 'geniuses', their egos become their downfall. Even M makes a sly analogy to Maxwell, who perished at sea in 1991. Pryce, true to his strong theater background, effortlessly plays Carver like a slightly demented child excited with his toys and the malicious things he could do with them.

"And the heat is on in Saigon ... wait, am I in Vietnam right now?"

Mr. Stamper (Götz Otto) - German colossus who eerily looks like Robert Shaw in From Russia With Love. Stamper is the henchman who's assigned to terminate Bond but keeps letting the peons do the dirty work. Never gets to torture Bond like he promised, especially after Bond kills his assassin mentor. At the least he didn't endure a slow death, buying it in the the destruction of Carver's stealth ship.

Henry Gupta (Ricky Jay) - Gupta is Carver's techno-wizard, doing everything from programming nuclear warheads, selling arms to terrorists and eavesdropping on his employer's wife. Too bad he makes the wrong choice in bosses, as Carver nonchalantly shoots him when Bond takes him hostage. Trivia note: Jay is a noted magician, and served as consultant for two recent magic-themed films, The Illusionist and The Prestige.

Dr. Kaufman (Vincent Schiavelli) - Self-styled master of torture and assassination, and mentor to Stamper. Last contract gets him killed. There's even a slightly funny exchange between him and Bond as he holds off shooting him because Stamper called and needed the information to open Bond's car - the assassin gets slightly embarrassed with this development.
Grade: A-

The Girl(s)
Wai Lin (Michelle Yeoh) - It's about time we had Asian women kick ass along with Bond (the two bitches from You Only Live Twice don't count)! Yeoh more than acquits herself with the stuntwork, and her character's written intelligently - she even finds the sunken British frigate even without Bond's intel or help.

Paris Carver (Teri Hatcher) - Fresh off Lois and Clark, Hatcher snares a plum role (even if she was alive barely 24 hours in film time) as Elliot Carver's wife, and an ex-girlfriend of Bond. If it didn't get her killed the first time around, it sure did this time.

To Botox or not to Botox ... that is the question!

Trivia note: Italian screen goddess Monica Belucci also tested for the part - imagine that!?

Prof. Inga Bergstrom (Cecilie Thomsen) - Danish language professor at Oxford, tutor to James Bond at odd hours. Prime candidate for appearing at sci-fi/fantasy conventions in later years for achievement as a (part-time) Bond girl. That and having been Bryan Adams' girlfriend.

P.R. Lady (Daphne Deckers) - Carver's publicist gets fired on the spot when the mogul gets cut in midst of his worldwide network broadcast debut. Another girl who would parlay her appearance for potential future earnings. Beaten out of the Paris role by Hatcher. At least already has 1996 Wimbledon champ Richard Krajicek for a husband.
Grade: A

Gadgets
The best gadget, perhaps even with the rest of the Bond arsenal, is the multitool that an Ericsson cell phone can be - it functions as a lock pick, a fingerprint scanner and a stun gun. But hold on - it can even drive Bond's new BMW (the franchise ditched the Aston Martins in the last film and replaced it with BMWs)! The new 750iL earns its price tag by saving Bond with its usual tricked-out enhancements like rocket launchers, spikes, re-inflatable tires, hood wirecutter, tear gas dispensers and electrified protection. Q gave him only one major gadget in this film and he makes do.

Early in the film, he also uses a lighter that doubled as a grenade.

Wai Lin also has her own portfolio, like a wrist piton that allows her to scale down walls. Bond also takes his pick from her stash with a new Walther P99 and an Omega watch that also functions as a bomb detonator. Who wants to bet the Brits armed the Chinese with that?
Grade: A-

Bond Moments
Clear winners include showing up Q with his dexterity to use the touchpad on his cellphone to drive the BMW remotely ("oh, grow up, 007!") and using the actual gadget under battlefield conditions - by maneuvering out of a carpark teeming with Carver goons. Bond even shows a moment of schoolboy-ish glee as he drives the car remotely out of the building to crash into an Avis office on the opposite side of the building.

Rivaling that would the helicopter-motorcycle chase through the streets of a Vietnam city (actually Bangkok). After escaping from the Carver building, Bond and Lin decide to take a BMW R1200 (for the first time, product placement money covered the whole $110M budget - and the final worldwide take was a little more than thrice that) and then gets chased by jeeps and a chopper. Director Spottiswoode knew it would be hard to beat the tank scene in GoldenEye, so he settled with a lot of clever stunts with the bike on crowded streets that made the heroes clever with on-the-fly adjustments, and in the process, also produced a noteworthy action sequence.


"There must be a better way to dry your hair!"

There was also the moment in the car with Bond, M and Moneypenny, but I'll leave that in the One-Liners section.

Of course, we always have the usual thrillseeker opener when Bond crashes a terrorist tupperware party (ok, not by choice, the trigger-happy Brits just sent a missile to wipe out the fledgling Al-Qaedas, not knowing that there was a jet with nukes in the same party), creates havoc and commandeers a plane out of there. Oh, did I mention that he got chased by another fighter plane and another bad guy was choking him in the back seat?

And oh, look, there's longtime Bond screenwriter and current producer Michael G. Wilson!

Grade: A-

One Liners
Bond: You were pretty good with that hook.
Wai-Lin: Thanks. It comes from growing up in a rough neighborhood. You were pretty good on the bike.
Bond: Thank you. It comes from not growing up at all.

Admiral Roebuck: With all due respect, M, I think you don't have the balls for this job.
M: Maybe. But the advantage is, I don't have to think with them all the time.

[in Danish]
Inga: I am pleased with your progress, Mr. Bond
Bond: I've always enjoyed studying a new tongue, Professor.

all in a day's work

Q: Will you need collision coverage?
Bond: Yes.
Q: Fire?
Bond: Probably.
Q: Property destruction?
Bond: Definitely.
Q: Personal Injury?
Bond: I hope not, but accidents do happen.
Q: They frequently do with you.
Bond: Well, that takes care of the normal wear-and-tear. Is there any other protection I need?
Q: Only from me, 007, unless you bring that car back in pristine order.

Bond: [in Danish, to Moneypenny] Goodbye, my sweet.
Moneypenny: You always were a cunning linguist, James. [hangs up, then M walks up from behind her]
Moneypenny: Don't ask.
M: Don't tell.

Bond: It won't look like a suicide if you shoot me from over there.
Dr. Kaufman: I am a professor of forensic medicine. Believe me, Mr. Bond, I could shoot you from Stuttgart und still create ze proper effect.

[Bond's video transmission shows Gupta holding a missing American GPS encoding device]
M: I wonder with what'll the CIA be more upset - that they lost it, or that we found it?

Bond: [after throwing a baddie into a printing press] They'll print anything these days.


usually Bond gets it in the kisser

M: Use your relationship with Mrs Carver if necessary.
Bond: I doubt if she'd remember me.
M: Remind her ... then pump her for information.
Moneypenny: You'll just have to decide how much pumping is needed, James.
now that's the Moneypenny we know!

Grade: A

Overall
Originally titled Tomorrow Never Lies (a jab at the errant ways of the Press), a typo convinced producers that it was a better title (which bears little connection to the story). This was the first Bond film which had nothing to do with any Fleming elements but still catered to the legions of fans who wanted their action shaken and stirred. The product placement was a bit hard to ignore, but it paid the bills (thus earning them a tidy little sum). Longtime producer Cubby Broccoli died after the release of GoldenEye, and this was dedicated in his memory. And his beloved franchise still had legs, thanks to Brosnan's cross-strata appeal and Spottiswoode's inventive directing.
Grade: A-


"i can't believe i lost Lance Armstrong to Matt McConaughey!"

but now i see

James Bond DVD collection review #17
GoldenEye (1995) - Martin Campbell
The Plot
The Russians have a killer satellite. And if that wasn't scary enough, it winds up in the hands of a rogue organization, led by a former 00 agent and once a friend to James Bond, who saw him die years ago. With the collapse of the former Soviet Union, it wasn't too long before organized crime practically ran the country. Ripped as usual from the headlines of the day, GoldenEye pits Bond against his deadliest adversaries yet. This film marks the return of the world's greatest secret agent to prominence.

Superpowers used phallic symbols to piss on the planet
Grade: A

Locales
Monte Carlo, St Petersburg, Cuba
Grade: A-

The Man
Pierce Brosnan
Suave, sophisticated yet showing a toughness to match, Brosnan breathes new life into the Bond character and catapults it headlong into a new era. Long been recruited to the role, he finally accepts the mantle and makes it his own. A great career choice after the modest success of Mrs Doubtfire and the long-cancelled Remington Steele.
Grade: A

The Villain(s)
Alec Trevelyan (Sean Bean) - I only saw Bean once before 1995, as a bastardly IRA soldier hellbent on killing Harrison Ford in Patriot Games, and here he reprises that bastardly character with a lot more cool and restraint this time around. His character probably introduced the world at large to Cossacks and the worst period in their history. Cossacks were known to be great military men and strategists, and Trevelyan honored his heritage well, until he runs up against his old English comrade who didn't seem to know how to quit. But then, as Bond said, he was nothing more than a common thief, planning to hack into bank systems to transfer vast amounts of money before sending London back to the Middle Ages with an EMP blast.

Gen. Arkady Ourumov (Gottfried John) - Oblivious to the fact that his main partner in crime was a Cossack, Ourumov, head of Space Division, had no compunctions betraying his country for money. John plays the part well, and I liked it especially when he sees Bond chasing him with a tank - and the best thing he could do was take a swig from his liquor bottle.

Boris Grishenko (Alan Cumming) - Inside man that allowed Trevelyan and Ouromov to steal the GoldenEye. Became a hero to nerds and hackers/crackers everywhere for about 10 minutes until he cracks under pressure. And gets doused with liquid nitrogen (and why would there be liquid nitrogen in a satellite control facility?). Cumming, whose mutant teleportation power had not yet manifested itself, was a closet gay then and actually auditioned for the Xenia Onatopp role (which was truly in character). Kidding, ladies!

"eat flaming death, mutie-hatas!"
Grade: A+

The Girl(s)
Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) - My introduction to Ms Janssen and she blows me away instantly. Harking back to the time when Bond ladies had sly names, Xenia Onatopp is Trevelyan's hatchet-woman (every major villain needs one). Doesn't hurt that she likes putting the uh, hurt on someone. Unlike other Bond she-villainesses, she doesn't fall for Bond or has a change of heart. Which is just the way I like it.

who knew Jean Grey was this kinky?

Natalya Simonova (Izabella Scorupco) - The lone witness to the hijacking of the GoldenEye, the female programmer has some mad skillz, despite Boris' chauvinist put-downs. Her nerd background notwithstanding, she manages to put the moves on Bond and even throws in a couple of emotional scenes. Must be that darned accent.

Caroline (Serena Gordon) - Doctor assigned to do a psych profile on Bond; ends up the one being ... evaluated.

Ms Moneypenny (Samantha Bond) - Ok, she's not his mother. There's a new Moneypenny in the house, and they keep up with the innuendos. It's classic, and it will remain that way.

which brings us to the final Bond lady ...

if you can guess who this is without clicking her pic, you're good
Grade: A-

Gadgets
Gadgets make a comeback in the film (a Bond tradition anyway), and it helps the action, not hog the screentime. Among the beauties are the belt with a rappelling wire (helping him escape a crossfire from Ak-47s), watch with a laser (helping him escape a booby-trapped train) and a remote mine switch, and the exploding Parker pen (triggered serendipitously by a nervous Boris). Early in the film, Bond uses a camera that sends images back to MI6 HQ which is then checked against a database and any results are faxed to a receiver in Bond's Aston Martin.

Q's lab as usual had its share of goodies, like an airbag-booby-trapped phone booth, a leg cast doubling as a rocket launcher, a silver tray doubling as an X-Ray scanner. Bond also gets a new BMW armed with Stinger missiles, but this never gets field-tested.
Grade: A-

Bond Moments
The best Bond openers always involve flying. The film always tries to incorporate the latest extreme sport - in this case, bungee jumping - and always has Bond chasing a plane or escaping from one. The moment where Bond plunges after a plane that rolled over a cliff, and managing to get into it, and pilot it out of the ravine in the nick of time - that certainly brought audiences to their feet cheering. Bond was back.

[Bond picks up a sandwich roll, studying it like a gadget]
Q: Don't touch that!
[Q snatches the roll off him]
Q: That's my lunch!

"Give me back my Chipotle Southwest Cheesesteak Sub, 007!"

Among the action scenes, the third in my top 3 would be the previously-described escape and plane-chase, while the second would be the mano-a-mano finale between Bond and Trevelyan (isn't it ironic that Bond's best nemesis would be one of their own?). The Best? Their escape from a military prison to a tank chase on the streets of St Petersburg, culminating with the collision of said tank and a train, and the ensuing standoff.

Of course, the best moment in GoldenEye for me, even better than the memorable first meeting between the new M (Dame Judi Dench, excellent 10-minute work) and Bond, would be this:

Brosnan becomes new icon of cool
Grade: A+

One Liners

Xenia: You don't need the gun.
Bond: Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.

Caroline: I know what you're doing. You're just trying to show off the size of your, err...
Bond: Engine?
Caroline: Ego.

Caroline: I enjoy a spirited ride as much as the next girl, but...
[Xenia pulls up alongside and smiles]
Caroline: Who's that?
Bond: The next girl.

Zukovsky: [as Bond draws a gun to his head] Walther PPK, 7.65 millimeter. Only three men I know of use such a gun. I believe I've killed two of them.
Bond: Lucky me.

Natalya: You destroy every vehicle you get into?
Bond: Standard operating procedure. Boys with toys.

Tanner: Seems your hunch was right, 007. It's too bad the Evil Queen of Numbers won't let you play it...
[M walks in]
M: You were saying?
Tanner: No, I was just...
M: Good, because if I want sarcasm, Mr Tanner, I'll talk to my children thank you very much.

Xenia: Enjoy it while it lasts.
Bond: The very words I live by.

Trevelyan: What's the matter, James? No glib remark? No pithy comeback?


"The Ring, James, my precious ... give me The Ring!!!"

Bond: It's too easy.
Trevelyan: Half of everything is luck, James.
Bond: And the other half?
[alarms begin to go off]
Trevelyan: Fate.

Trevelyan: Why can't you just be a good boy and die?
Bond: You first.
[Looks at Xenia]
Bond: You, second.
Grade: A

Overall
Let's talk about the supporting cast for a sec. It's a virtual who's who ... Robbie Coltrane as crimelord Valentin Zukovsky. Tchéky Karyo as Russian Defense Minister Mishkin (I always check out movies that feature Karyo and Jean Reno), Joe Don Baker returns in a new role as Jack Wade, CIA slacker. Quite a few starred in some of the better sci-fi/fantasy movies - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, X-Men, The Chronicles of Riddick, Reign of Fire, Wing Commander (ok, maybe not all of them). Even Brosnan and Baker showed up in Mars Attacks! It seemed great to have been associated with the film that brought back Bond into the '90s and have him adapt to the New World Order. I think the happiest guy was the beloved Q (Desmond Llewelyn), whose sole raison d'être was to provide Bond with devices to extricate himself out of sticky situations. It never fails to bring a smile to my face whenever I hear him say "Now pay attention, 007 ..."

Despite his unapologetic stance as "a sexist, misogynist dinosaur ... a relic of the Cold War", Bond seemingly transcends his image and finds a role for himself in this new world. Bond proves himself to MI6 and to his audience, and Brosnan brings in the right balance of charm and steel. Everything in the world is right again. A pity the party wasn't to last.


"hey, Mister! you forgot your pizzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....!"

Grade: A

revoked

James Bond DVD collection review #16
License To Kill (1989) - John Glen
The Plot
Bond is in Florida as the best man for his friend and CIA man Felix Leiter's wedding. Being the manly men they are, they take a detour on the way to church to nab a drug lord. Leiter, mostly left as an afterthought in past Bond films, now has an expanded role as said drug lord escapes and puts the hurting on him in a way that sets off Bond on the path for revenge. That path puts him at odds with his MI6 bosses and with it, the close of Bond chapter for the 80s.
Grade: A

Locales
Key West, Bimini, Panama (actually Mexico)
Grade: B-

The Man
Timothy Dalton
I can't say its the best Bond portrayal, but I will say its the best Dalton performance as Bond. Wanting to play the character closer to his Fleming roots, License to Kill is up his alley as we see a darker and edgier Bond, willing to trash his service record and government responsibilities in the name of what's Right. Dalton had a 3-film contract but when the franchise went in limbo after this (not to mention that it did less than The Living Daylights), he opted out of the role in April 1994, paving the way for Pierce Brosnan.

to supplement his 007 income, Bond had to ... pimp himself. it wasn't easy.
Grade: A

The Villain(s)
Franz Sanchez (Robert Davi) - How much more of an analogy to Manuel Noriega can you have? A drug king and virtual dictator of Isthmus City ("Havana" but referring really to Panama), Sanchez leaves the protection of his native country to follow his wandering girlfriend Lupe and bring her back. Escaping the clutches of the CIA and coolly feeding Felix Leiter (on his wedding night!) to a shark, Davi is in his best ruthless-Latino-charmer mode. We have no doubt Davi could have been a drug lord in an alternate universe.

Dario (Benicio Del Toro) - Totally forgot about Benicio appearing in this film as the youngest Bond villain ever at age 21. Even back then, he was already that Traffic cop. I totally dig Benicio; am just like him. Back in 1989, I was this young and skinny. Now we're both just fat.

"Soon, I will look all old and edgy, but I will win Oscar eh?"

Trivia note: Christopher Columbus: The Discovery could have been James Bond: 1492, as the project included Davi, Del Toro, and Dalton with John Glen helming. Production problems caused Dalton to back out, and the film would go down as a critical flop.

Milton Krest (Anthony Zerbe) - Sanchez' Florida contact and sleazy operator of a marine research company. Hits on anything with a skirt, but Bond gets his goat twice. Exploded under pressure. Guess he couldn't handle it.

Truman-Lodge (Anthony Starke) - Sanchez' whiny boy Friday, assisting in business deals as opposed to Dario, who assisted in business-end-of-a-knife deals. Whiny ass gets whacked by Sanchez himself.

Col. Heller (Don Stroud) - Sanchez' head of security, secretly plotting to steal his Stinger missiles. Gets impaled by a forklift. Sanchez actually kills as many of his own cohorts in this movie than Bond does.

Braun (Guy de Saint Cyr) - A member of the Braun family corporation which makes men's shaving kits. But he gets disowned when he throws in with Sanchez and the druglords. Ok, not really. Just another henchman with subpar shooting skills and even less of a driving one, driving himself off a cliff in a burning jeep.

Ed Killifer (Everett McGill) - Traitorous agent responsible for letting Sanchez go free for alleged $2M payoff in $20 bills in a suitcase. That's some heavy shit. Bond feeds him to the same shark that ate half of Leiter's leg.

Prof. Joe Butcher (Wayne Newton) - Another real-world analogue, this time to the notorious televangelists of the late '80s. Sanchez uses his TV show to communicate and negotiate drug deals. Sleazy bastard too.

Wayne Newton, not Wayne Knight. aaargh.

President Hector Lopez (Pedro Armendáriz Jr.) - A figurehead president propped up by Sanchez, whose only significant role was to complain to Sanchez about his monthly paycheck. Apparently survives Sanchez' downfall and even hooks up with Sanchez' girl thereafter. Now that's a politician! (Armendáriz would parlay this political capital to go on to play two more presidents in The Crime of Padre Amaro and Once Upon A Time in Mexico).
Grade: A

The Girl(s)
Pam Bouvier (Carey Lowell) - You know the Connery/Moore era has passed when the leading lady isn't called something like "Pam Beaver". A supposedly tough CIA agent and Bond's only remaining link to Sanchez' operation, Pam holds her own and keeps helping Bond out despite his best efforts to play lone wolf. Lowell, a fashion model straight out of high school, goes on to become Mrs. Richard Gere (a "fallback" girl post-Cindy Crawford).


"What say we go back to the bedroom and I'll pop some V and champagne?"

Lupe Lamora (Talisa Soto) - Sanchez' girl friday with a wanderlust. I mean, really. She started this whole thing - she hooked up with a guy in Florida, necessitating that Sanchez leave his safe stronghold to get her back, thus putting the DEA and CIA on the clock to capture him, etc, etc. She does have some taste, not shacking with Krest. But still. Slut. nyhahahahahaha! Soto goes on to star in Mortal Kombat and become Mrs. Benjamin Bratt (a "fallback" girl post-Julia Roberts).

Della Churchill (Priscilla Barnes) - I really don't get it but it seems like the bride always kisses the best man a lot. I mean is that okay for people close to each other? I even expected Felix to ask Bond to join them for a threesome on their wedding night. I guess they wrote that out of the script. Slut.

And I won't even mention Caroline Bliss as Ms Moneypenny, who has less lines than cocaine being done by someone allergic to it. To Moneypenny's credit, she puts Q on Bond's trail to help him out.
Grade: A-

Gadgets
The new tough Bond doesn't really too much on gadgets but again, they're there when they count. Like a toothpaste that doubles as an explosive. I mean yeah, we cannot live without toothpaste. I can't.

Q also provides Bond a specialized gun that has his palmprint encoded, making him the only one who can fire the gun. Too bad he wasn't able to assassinate Sanchez with it because some dumb ninjas showed up. Ok, they were still Brit agents led by Kwang (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa). Is there really anyone named Kwang? I mean, that's so stereotypical.

Q also uses a radio transmitter doubling as a broom (Q as a streetsweeper? Now that's loyalty).

Of course, if we make a big deal out of the fake Manta Ray cover that Bond used to escape detection, some Steve Irwin fans might just go nuts and forget though that a Manta may come from the same Phylum (Chordata) as a stingray, it still is of a different family (Myliobatidae vs Dasyatidae). wait, we just did.
Grade: B

Bond Moments
Bond defying M ... and British agents shooting at him? What th-?

Bond and Leiter capture Sanchez and parachute direct right in front of the church, for Leiter's nuptials. Yes, that's all in a day's work.

Bond escapes 4 enemy divers by shooting a shark gun at a seaplane's pontoon, waterskis behind it, and then climbs aboard as it flies away, ensuring that he can hijack the plane and kill off the druggies inside.

For someone who trashes a house to get information, these druggies left Leiter's PC intact - allowing Bond to find a hidden CD, pop the disc in (without even turning on the PC!) and just reads the info as he pleases.

The daring-escape-sequence-while-on-a-bridge predates True Lies and Mission Impossible: III.

Of course, it wouldn't do to mention the rip-roaring tanker trucks sequence at the end, where they do everything a stunt car does (drive tilted on one side) and doesn't (wheelies). The documentary has interesting interviews - the strip of road used for the shooting seemed to haunted - and includes the infamous and unexplained 'hand of fire' that came out of one explosion and not seen in any other rushes.

reports surfaced on evidence that George Lazenby had a ... hand in these incidents

Grade: A-

One Liners
M: This private vendetta of yours could easily compromise Her Majesty's government. You have an assignment, and I expect you to carry it out objectively and professionally.
Bond: Then you have my resignation, sir.
M: We're not a country club, 007!

Truman-Lodge: Brilliant! Well done, Franz! Another eighty-million dollar write-off!
Sanchez: Then I guess it's time to start cutting overhead. (empties an Uzi on him)

Sanchez: Drug dealers of the world, unite!

Bond: Pam, this is Q, my "uncle". Q, this is "Miss Kennedy," my "cousin."
Q: Ah! We must be related.

Bond: This is no place for you, Q. Go home.
Q: Oh, don't be an idiot, 007. I know exactly what you're up to, and quite frankly, you're going to need my help. Remember, if it hadn't been for Q Branch, you'd have been dead long ago.

Pam: Why don't you wait until you're asked?
Bond: So why don't you ask me?
Gooooooooaaaaaaalllllll!
Grade: B+

Overall
Glen's directorial swansong for the franchise proves to be his best, as Dalton brings Bond the closest to his Ian Fleming roots. Originally, the original film title was License Revoked, but MGM balked at it because they thought American audiences would be at a loss as to what 'revoked' meant. Stupid Americans. Anyway, whether they did or not, License to Kill wasn't a hit in the US box office, putting doubt into the future of the franchise. Dalton would never return. It would be six years before another 007 blazed into the screen. But this was one of the best they ever put out, business be damned. As a bonus, the film comes with not one but two songs - the title track by Gladys Knight and the one which would go on to become a sentimental favorite - If You Asked Me To by Patti LaBelle.
Grade: A-


"I already won Oscar. So now what? Ah yes, just look drunk and drugged all the time! Hollywood!"

til the morning comes

James Bond DVD collection review #15
The Living Daylights (1987) - John Glen


before iPods and U2, there was Maurice Binder, the Bond franchise and A-Ha!

The Plot
James Bond helps a maverick Russian general defect to the UK, but is immediately snatched back by the KGB thereafter. Or did they? Bond, with the general's supposed girl friday, tracks the suspect all over the globe, ending up right smack in the middle of Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. The whole thing turns out to be a complicated arms-for-drugs deal, a murky aspect of secret wars between nations during the Cold War.
Grade: A-

Locales
Gibraltar, Prague, Bratislava, Vienna, Tangiers, Afghanistan
Grade: B+

The Man
Timothy Dalton
The next Bond proved to be the rugged Dalton, whose theater work gave the role an rougher edge. No hints of drifting to camp here, and despite being made during the everything-is-big 80's, Dalton's minimalistic approach to the role endeared him to Desmond Llewelyn (the exalted Q), who prefers his work over any other actor who played Bond.
Grade: A-

The Villain(s)
General Georgi Koskov (Jeroen Krabbe) - I kept wondering where I saw this guy before - oh, yeah! He was Harrison Ford's best friend/secret villain in The Fugitive. So basically we can play Looping Six Degrees or less here ... Sean Connery played Bond, Dalton does, and here he worked with Krabbe, and Krabbe worked with Ford, and Ford also worked with Connery in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Woohooo! Wait, where the hell was Kevin Bacon?

Anyway, Krabbe seems too jolly/happy-go-lucky as the Russian second-in-command to General Pushkin (successor to the D.O.M. General Anatol Gogol, a recurring character since the 1977's The Spy Who Loved Me), who fakes a defection for a internal powerplay and a billion dollar windfall. I guess that might explain it. Overconfidence is nothing new for Bond villains and they always lose.

if this was a Soviet general, then i'm James Bond

Necros (Andreas Wisniewski) - The main baddie always needs a hatchet man, and the appropriately-named blond Soviet has explosive milk bottles as part of his arsenal. quite a leap from Oddjob's metal hat. anyway, tall, mysterious Eastern European bogeymen seem to be a favorite in action films (Alexander Godunov, Die Hard) and are always pesky roaches to kill.

Brad Whitaker (Joe Don Baker) - Brad Whitaker. Sounds like a pretty boy actor. Only here he's a loony arms dealer with a historical battles/exotic weapon fetish. A nice change from the cookie-cutter mad industrialist. Baker didn't know it yet, but after his appearance here, he would go on to play another character in the later Bond films, but on the side of the angels this time.

General Leonid Pushkin (John Rhys-Davies) - Holy shit! Its Gimli! He used to be the head of the Soviet military! How could we have missed that! Anyway, the enemy of his enemy is his friend, so Bond teams up with Pushkin to flush out Koskov.
Grade: B+

The Girl(s)
Kara Milovy (Maryam d'Abo) - And i thought Tanya Roberts' character was whiny. d'Abo, playing spoiled cello prodigy Kara, may even claim to be worse. Dumb enough to be duped by such a powerful Russian military man (Koskov) to play a role in his fake defection, she thinks she's in love with him and he loves her too, but very easily falls for Bond's charms. I mean you can sell the Brooklyn Bridge to this girl. Seriously. d'Abo must be like this in real life; if so, then she deserves a damn Oscar.

Miss Moneypenny (Caroline Bliss) - There's a new Moneypenny in da house! The venerable Lois Maxwell gets sent out to pasture (she probably did the nasty with Roger Moore off the set to uh, offset the mere teasing she gets on the set - okay, kidding, folks). Unfortunately, she also took a lot of the character with her, leaving Bliss nothing to build on or offer.

Bush and Kim Jong Il have more chemistry than these two

Linda (Kell Tyler) - Rich young lass on a yacht, bored by playboys and tennis players, suddenly finds Bond dropping by via a burning parachute. Voila! Quickies were already in vogue back in 1987.
Grade: B-

Gadgets
Minimalism, thy new name is Bond. The most used (and with good measure) gadget in this movie was a simple key ring. based on certain whistled tunes (a wolf-whistle being one of them), the key ring emits stun gas or functions as an IED (an intentional explosive device, nyuk nyuk), the latter functionality being useful in taking out Whitaker.

Of course, there's Necros and his novel exploding milk bottles (there were real-life reports of people jumping out to the bushes whenever their milkman came by to deliver).

Q, as usual, had more goodies in his lab, including a personnel-"swallowing" sofa and a boombox modified as a rocket launcher. too bad, it would have been fun to see Bond strutting with this 'ghetto blaster' in the steppes of Afghanistan to the derisive laughter of Soviet troops, before he cuts loose (a-la that guitar guy in Desperado) and blows them to smithereens. Even Whitaker had the cooler guns.
Grade: B

Bond Moments
Despite Dalton's serious style, there's still a few outrageous moments:

Koskov gets smuggled out of Russia via the Trans-Siberian Pipeline, with the help of an Amazon (yeah you gotta watch that ...)

Whitaker and Koskov celebrating in Tangiers - just goes to show communism was a hollow idea ... money rules, baby!!!

Bond and Necros dangle by the rear ramp of a cargo jet, until one of them loses it. So that's where they swiped it for Air Force One.

Bond and Kara escapes the soldiers by sledding down the slopes in Kara's cello case.

"how this girl managed to get me to play the cello while sledding, i don't know."

Whitaker, a phony soldier to begin with, has all the memorabilia and scale models of historical wars, and it was fitting that he died in his own playland, getting pinned by a statue.
Grade: B+

One Liners
Kara: You were fantastic. We're free.
Bond: Kara, we're inside a Russian airbase in the middle of Afghanistan.
[and to that, we add "DO'H!"]

Q: [to Bond] Something we're making for the Americans. It's called a "Ghetto Blaster".

Miss Moneypenny: That girl must be very talented.
Bond: Believe me, my interest in her is purely professional.

Bond did not soooo hit that!

[struggling with Kara's cello]
Bond: Why didn't you learn the violin?

[Kamran Shah, mujahideen leader, welcomes Bond and Kara to their hideout]
Shah: Thank you both for your help. My name is Kamran Shah. Please forgive the theatricals, it's a hangover from my Oxford days.

Bond: Just taking the Aston out for a spin, Q.
Q: Be careful, 007! It's just had a new coat of paint!

[Bond lets Necros fall to his death by cutting off his bootlaces]
Kara: What happened?
Bond: He got the boot.

[Whitaker gets crushed under a statue of the Duke of Wellington]
Bond: He met his Waterloo.
Grade: B+

Overall
After a Scot, an Aussie and an Englishman, we now have a Welshman (Irish Pierce Brosnan would soon complete the "islands of the north atlantic" grouping). Dalton had specific ideas on how to play Bond, and not everyone liked them - he himself even turned down the role twice (to work on Brenda Starr - yeeeeccch). The glamour and attraction of Bond was its outrageous, wink-wink style, and suddenly we get a real cold warrior who sometimes finds it hard to break into a smile. The Living Daylights was smart enough to incorporate issues of the day - Afghanistan for example - and breaking in a new Bond gave them a chance to take some risks with the story. An auspicious start for Dalton, but alas, it wasn't to last.

well, the other fans should be thankful it wasn't this New Zealander ...

Neill. Sam Neill.
Grade: B