Die Another Day (2002) - Lee Tamahori
The Plot
A rags-to-riches adventurer suddenly becomes a worldwide philanthropist and diamond businessman but what is his connection to a rogue North Korean soldier whom Bond was prisoner-swapped for? Bond teams up with a sexy NSA operative to find out the truth, the whole truth, and another way to avoid the clutches of Father Time and Death. And of course, stop that satellite over our heads which 'can harness the power of the sun' and also turn us all into sizzling sisig. hello, Moonraker?
Grade: B+
Locales
North/South Korea, Hong Kong, Cuba, London, Iceland
Grade: A-
The Man
Pierce Brosnan
Shaken but not stirred. An obviously graying and a bit middle-heavy Brosnan returns for the 20th Bond film on its 40th anniversary. There were some mitigating circumstances as to why this turned out to be his last Bond film, but he does go out in style, and his 8-year run as the world's most famous secret agent is just as good as any before him.
Jesus? Jesus, is that you?
Grade: B+
The Villain(s)
Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens) - GG. Not the fish. A maverick operator that echoes shades of Gates and Branson built his diamond empire overnight. Bond discovers that his diamonds are copycats, which would explain his market share and resources - an ice palace in Iceland, the latest hardware and technology, and a killer satellite (i mean, where are the checks and balances in this world?). It was great unveiling the plot twist that the slick businessman was none other than ...
Colonel Moon (Will Yun Lee) - Hardline North Korean military man itching to invade his southern neighbors at the drop of a pin, contrary to the his General father's conciliatory stance. In the first part of the film, Bond stops his weapons build-up just off the DMZ and manages to drop him off a waterfall - but Bond pays the price by being a year-long house guest of the Commies. Surviving and undergoing a radical DNA transfer process in Cuba, Col. Moon ironically takes on a new personality similar to Bond - a dashing playboy millionaire named Gustav Graves, and never gives up on his dream to reunite the two Koreas. By force, of course.
Zao (Rick Yune) - Colonel Moon's main partner, and all-around badass. His face disfigured when Bond rigged a diamond cache with C-4, Jinx and Bond interrupt his getting the same DNA treatment in Cuba. Goes head to head with Bond's Aston Martin with his pimped-out Jaguar XKR. Loses and gets buried in ice water.
i've heard of piercings and expressing yourself, but this is so ... over!
Vlad (Mikhail Gorevoy) - Graves' tech guy, whose just as dumb as any. Gets swept out of a 747 during the final battle at 30,000 feet.
Mr. Kil (Lawrence Makoare) - henchman who gets some uh, head laser surgery courtesy of Jinx. I swear, they have a Henchmen Union that through the years, provided muscle and numbers for the next Bond villain. In effect, they change employers every couple or years or so.
Grade: A-
The Girl(s)
Jinx (Halle Berry) - Fresh off Monster's Ball, the Oscar-winning Berry takes on less serious matters to play Giacinta 'Jinx' Johnson, NSA operative who has as much gadgets and derring-do as Bond but still needs him to save her ass. At least she was better here than in Catwoman.
the Ursula Andress for the next generation. maybe.
Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike) - A great find whose previous work was confined to TV, Pike plays the aptly-named ice queen, a covert MI-6 agent inserted into Graves' organization as his publicist, but turns out to be the traitor that sent Bond to the NoKor slammer. At 5'9" with musical talents and a Magna Cum Laude (English Lit), Ros is formidable indeed. An Olympic-class fencer in the film, she of course, dies by the sword (or to be specific, Jinx's knife).
that's one thing she never got off her chest (booooooo! lame!)
Peaceful Fountains of Desire (Rachel Grant) - Yes, that was her character's name, a masseuse sent by the Chinese Reds to find out what Bond was up to. And despite the small role, Grant is no slouch in the name-drop department. She was born in the Philippines but her grampa is Baron Raymond De Longueuil (a second cousin to the Queen), making her pops Michael Charles Grant son and heir to the Baron's line of royalty. Start Googling her, dorks.
Ms Moneypenny (Samantha Bond) - And to finally finish it all, yes, by all means let's have the long-suffering MI-6 secretary as part of the Girls lineup (the character has been there right from the beginning). After 19 films enduring Bond's teasing and double-entendres, and even a marriage, she finally gets to ...
... or maybe not.
I don't care what you say, and I don't care if she has a few clever lines; Madonna will never make it to this list.
Grade: A
Gadgets
This is hands-down the most high-tech of all the Bond films - where do I even start?
We can start with the tricked-out cars (boys will be boys) - the film marks a return to the Aston Martin line with the Vanquish ... ah yes, the car. How is it different? Of course, it has all the usual armaments and armor. But now with great CGI techniques, Bond can have an invisible car. An invisible car! Assuredly, this is Tom Swift territory and if MI-6 could cook up all this gadgets, we should be able to stop terrorists even before they can execute their dastardly plans. Why do we build gadgets to eliminate the problem, instead of preventing the problem? That being said, invisibility is always über-cool. It helped Bond defeat Zao in the ice palace.
if everyone had one, we'd all be in emergency rooms or dead. so no.
Bond and his cohorts invade Korea by surfing - no, not via the Internet, idiot - and their surfboards concealed a motherlode of extra devices like explosives and a transmitter (used to hijack the contact for Colonel Moon) doubling as a combat knife.
Bond is given another Omega watch by Q ("its your twentieth, I believe" - in reference to this 20th Bond outing) which has a laser. Earlier, his 19th watch had a detonator for C-4 explosives (used to create a diversion - and subsequently scar pretty boy Zao's face).
One of the cooler things given by Q was the sonic agitator ring, which when twisted, emitted high-decibel sonics to shatter glass. Bond uses it twice - a mark of usefulness.
Jinx, not to be outdone, uses a cellphone as a timer for detonating a bomb, as well as a rappelling device.
Graves, of course has his Icarus satellite and his high-tech suit, capable of communicating with the satellite, as well as generating 100kV of electricity (talk about a joy buzzer).
are friends electric? do androids dream of electric sheep?
Grade: A-
Bond Moments
We never see Bond suffering that much, so when the opener (a brazen assault on a North Korean shores and walking into the lion's den and orchestrating an escape similar to Tomorrow Never Dies) results in Bond getting imprisoned for a year - and the eventual rescinding of his license to kill - you know its going to get interesting.
Curses! The franchise finally softens its stance on swear words - Jinx calls Miranda a "bitch". In all the Bond movies, despite all the naughty talk, characters never ever say bad words.
The makers of South Park, watching the Graves' Icarus satellite decimate the DMZ like God's wrath from heaven, found their bogeyman and started working on Team America.
new extreme sport: Avoid The Jet Engine!
Bond, perhaps still smarting from M's decision to let him rot in a Korean cell and only pull him out because she thought he broke down, shoots, well, nicks her - in a hostage situation while using a virtual reality headset.
The new Q (not cottoning to Bond's quip for him to be called R), John Cleese, as usual makes the rounds of gadget showcasing, and suffers through Bond's penchant to mess around with things he shouldn't touch (ex. Rosa Klebb's spiked shoe in From Russia With Love and the jet-pack from Thunderball). Of course, it is Bond who is visibly impressed when Q unveils the new Aston Martin Vanquish ...
And technology also plays a hand in one of the best moments - where Ms Moneypenny uses Q's virtual reality headgear, and finally gets Bond to make good on all the '40 years' of teasing.
Grade: A-
One Liners
Miranda: This is crazy. You're a double O.
Bond: It's only a number...
Gooooooooaaaaallll!
Mr. Chang: Hong Kong's our turf now, Bond.
Bond: Well, don't worry. I'm not here to take it back.
Bond: Give me the old fashioned target range, Quartermaster.
Q: Yes, well, it's called the future, so get used to it.
Bond: Check the tape. You'll find he's dead and she only has a flesh wound.
Q: There's always an excuse, isn't there, Double-O-Zero?
Q: ... Your new transportation!
[sees nothing on the platform]
Bond: I think you've been down here too long...
Verity: I see you handle your weapon well.
Bond: I have been known to keep my tip up.
Graves: Care to place a bet, Verity?
Verity: No, thanks. I don't like cockfights.
Miranda: I'll show you your room.
Bond: A palace of ice; you must feel right at home.
Miranda: Mr. Bond. And Miss...?
Jinx: Swift, "Space and Technology" magazine.
Miranda: Really? I take it Mr. Bond's been explaining his Big Bang theory?
Jinx: Oh yeah, I think I got the thrust of it.
Bond: You know, I've missed your sparkling personality.
Zao: [punching Bond in the stomach] How's that for a punch line?
Grade: A-
Overall
Perhaps panned in retrospect due to its heavy use of gadgetry (an invisible car, indeed!), the franchise had to keep playing out the "can-you-top-this" card, even at the expense of putting bits and pieces of what was already done before, to a pastiche that really works more than doesn't. How else were you going to raise the stakes? You've barely seen Bond squirm or suffer at the hands of villains (in my mind, only one qualifies: the death of his wife Tracy at the hands of Ernst Blofeld through Irma Bunt in OHMSS), so putting him in torture row while the world changed, blurring his purpose in the world, was a welcome change. We've been too coddled. We actually get a bit more coddling here, when a simple matter of putting a bullet in Jinx's head turns into a foreplay with laser surgery (which fails) and death by drowning in ice water (also fails). Alas, after being captured and tortured, Bond would never allow that to happen again. The movie succeeds, even with its soulless gadgetry, even with Madonna. And you knew Desmond Llewelyn's ghost was hiding there somewhere.
Well, screw the critics ($456M gross). Every new Bond is like a visit from a longtime friend. And this coming Friday, after 4 long years, the friend is stopping by once again. 20 years of gadgetry, breath-taking stunts and gorgeous women will be rebooted for a new era. Hope it'll be as glorious as the last one.
In closing, I'm leaving you and this two-year, 20-film review (whew!) with a line from Mr. Blonde (Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs), who plays bull-headed NSA Director Damien Falco, which may succinctly describes this thing I foisted on you, dear reader:
Torture you? That's a good idea. I like that.
Grade: A-
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