GoldenEye (1995) - Martin Campbell
The Plot
The Russians have a killer satellite. And if that wasn't scary enough, it winds up in the hands of a rogue organization, led by a former 00 agent and once a friend to James Bond, who saw him die years ago. With the collapse of the former Soviet Union, it wasn't too long before organized crime practically ran the country. Ripped as usual from the headlines of the day, GoldenEye pits Bond against his deadliest adversaries yet. This film marks the return of the world's greatest secret agent to prominence.
Superpowers used phallic symbols to piss on the planet
Grade: A
Locales
Monte Carlo, St Petersburg, Cuba
Grade: A-
The Man
Pierce Brosnan
Suave, sophisticated yet showing a toughness to match, Brosnan breathes new life into the Bond character and catapults it headlong into a new era. Long been recruited to the role, he finally accepts the mantle and makes it his own. A great career choice after the modest success of Mrs Doubtfire and the long-cancelled Remington Steele.
Grade: A
The Villain(s)
Alec Trevelyan (Sean Bean) - I only saw Bean once before 1995, as a bastardly IRA soldier hellbent on killing Harrison Ford in Patriot Games, and here he reprises that bastardly character with a lot more cool and restraint this time around. His character probably introduced the world at large to Cossacks and the worst period in their history. Cossacks were known to be great military men and strategists, and Trevelyan honored his heritage well, until he runs up against his old English comrade who didn't seem to know how to quit. But then, as Bond said, he was nothing more than a common thief, planning to hack into bank systems to transfer vast amounts of money before sending London back to the Middle Ages with an EMP blast.
Gen. Arkady Ourumov (Gottfried John) - Oblivious to the fact that his main partner in crime was a Cossack, Ourumov, head of Space Division, had no compunctions betraying his country for money. John plays the part well, and I liked it especially when he sees Bond chasing him with a tank - and the best thing he could do was take a swig from his liquor bottle.
Boris Grishenko (Alan Cumming) - Inside man that allowed Trevelyan and Ouromov to steal the GoldenEye. Became a hero to nerds and hackers/crackers everywhere for about 10 minutes until he cracks under pressure. And gets doused with liquid nitrogen (and why would there be liquid nitrogen in a satellite control facility?). Cumming, whose mutant teleportation power had not yet manifested itself, was a closet gay then and actually auditioned for the Xenia Onatopp role (which was truly in character). Kidding, ladies!
"eat flaming death, mutie-hatas!"
Grade: A+
The Girl(s)
Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) - My introduction to Ms Janssen and she blows me away instantly. Harking back to the time when Bond ladies had sly names, Xenia Onatopp is Trevelyan's hatchet-woman (every major villain needs one). Doesn't hurt that she likes putting the uh, hurt on someone. Unlike other Bond she-villainesses, she doesn't fall for Bond or has a change of heart. Which is just the way I like it.
who knew Jean Grey was this kinky?
Natalya Simonova (Izabella Scorupco) - The lone witness to the hijacking of the GoldenEye, the female programmer has some mad skillz, despite Boris' chauvinist put-downs. Her nerd background notwithstanding, she manages to put the moves on Bond and even throws in a couple of emotional scenes. Must be that darned accent.
Caroline (Serena Gordon) - Doctor assigned to do a psych profile on Bond; ends up the one being ... evaluated.
Ms Moneypenny (Samantha Bond) - Ok, she's not his mother. There's a new Moneypenny in the house, and they keep up with the innuendos. It's classic, and it will remain that way.
which brings us to the final Bond lady ...
if you can guess who this is without clicking her pic, you're good
Grade: A-
Gadgets
Gadgets make a comeback in the film (a Bond tradition anyway), and it helps the action, not hog the screentime. Among the beauties are the belt with a rappelling wire (helping him escape a crossfire from Ak-47s), watch with a laser (helping him escape a booby-trapped train) and a remote mine switch, and the exploding Parker pen (triggered serendipitously by a nervous Boris). Early in the film, Bond uses a camera that sends images back to MI6 HQ which is then checked against a database and any results are faxed to a receiver in Bond's Aston Martin.
Q's lab as usual had its share of goodies, like an airbag-booby-trapped phone booth, a leg cast doubling as a rocket launcher, a silver tray doubling as an X-Ray scanner. Bond also gets a new BMW armed with Stinger missiles, but this never gets field-tested.
Grade: A-
Bond Moments
The best Bond openers always involve flying. The film always tries to incorporate the latest extreme sport - in this case, bungee jumping - and always has Bond chasing a plane or escaping from one. The moment where Bond plunges after a plane that rolled over a cliff, and managing to get into it, and pilot it out of the ravine in the nick of time - that certainly brought audiences to their feet cheering. Bond was back.
[Bond picks up a sandwich roll, studying it like a gadget]
Q: Don't touch that!
[Q snatches the roll off him]
Q: That's my lunch!
"Give me back my Chipotle Southwest Cheesesteak Sub, 007!"
Among the action scenes, the third in my top 3 would be the previously-described escape and plane-chase, while the second would be the mano-a-mano finale between Bond and Trevelyan (isn't it ironic that Bond's best nemesis would be one of their own?). The Best? Their escape from a military prison to a tank chase on the streets of St Petersburg, culminating with the collision of said tank and a train, and the ensuing standoff.
Of course, the best moment in GoldenEye for me, even better than the memorable first meeting between the new M (Dame Judi Dench, excellent 10-minute work) and Bond, would be this:
Brosnan becomes new icon of cool
Grade: A+
One Liners
Xenia: You don't need the gun.
Bond: Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.
Caroline: I know what you're doing. You're just trying to show off the size of your, err...
Bond: Engine?
Caroline: Ego.
Caroline: I enjoy a spirited ride as much as the next girl, but...
[Xenia pulls up alongside and smiles]
Caroline: Who's that?
Bond: The next girl.
Zukovsky: [as Bond draws a gun to his head] Walther PPK, 7.65 millimeter. Only three men I know of use such a gun. I believe I've killed two of them.
Bond: Lucky me.
Natalya: You destroy every vehicle you get into?
Bond: Standard operating procedure. Boys with toys.
Tanner: Seems your hunch was right, 007. It's too bad the Evil Queen of Numbers won't let you play it...
[M walks in]
M: You were saying?
Tanner: No, I was just...
M: Good, because if I want sarcasm, Mr Tanner, I'll talk to my children thank you very much.
Xenia: Enjoy it while it lasts.
Bond: The very words I live by.
Trevelyan: What's the matter, James? No glib remark? No pithy comeback?
"The Ring, James, my precious ... give me The Ring!!!"
Bond: It's too easy.
Trevelyan: Half of everything is luck, James.
Bond: And the other half?
[alarms begin to go off]
Trevelyan: Fate.
Trevelyan: Why can't you just be a good boy and die?
Bond: You first.
[Looks at Xenia]
Bond: You, second.
Grade: A
Overall
Let's talk about the supporting cast for a sec. It's a virtual who's who ... Robbie Coltrane as crimelord Valentin Zukovsky. Tchéky Karyo as Russian Defense Minister Mishkin (I always check out movies that feature Karyo and Jean Reno), Joe Don Baker returns in a new role as Jack Wade, CIA slacker. Quite a few starred in some of the better sci-fi/fantasy movies - Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, X-Men, The Chronicles of Riddick, Reign of Fire, Wing Commander (ok, maybe not all of them). Even Brosnan and Baker showed up in Mars Attacks! It seemed great to have been associated with the film that brought back Bond into the '90s and have him adapt to the New World Order. I think the happiest guy was the beloved Q (Desmond Llewelyn), whose sole raison d'être was to provide Bond with devices to extricate himself out of sticky situations. It never fails to bring a smile to my face whenever I hear him say "Now pay attention, 007 ..."
Despite his unapologetic stance as "a sexist, misogynist dinosaur ... a relic of the Cold War", Bond seemingly transcends his image and finds a role for himself in this new world. Bond proves himself to MI6 and to his audience, and Brosnan brings in the right balance of charm and steel. Everything in the world is right again. A pity the party wasn't to last.
"hey, Mister! you forgot your pizzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....!"
Grade: A
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