James Bond DVD collection review #7. Sean Connery is back in the building. For a couple of million reasons. He liked the script, is mostly set in Las Vegas. They even considered Americanizing the character, but naaah, wouldn't work. Connery saves the day after some shrewd negotiation, but doesn't really top any of his better performances (you could see that he's getting old and - gasp! - out of shape). Guy Hamilton, who megged Goldfinger, returns to direct Connery in his final - yep, we heard that before - performance as James Bond. 12 years later, Connery does return in a controversial and unofficial Bond movie, Never Say Never Again, a rewrite of Thunderball, just to thumb his nose at his former bosses. That film is never part of the DVD collection.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) - Guy Hamilton
The Plot
SPECTRE (aren't they all dead yet???) once more looks skyward and fashions a satellite laser weapon (Goldeneye will take the idea further). But it all starts with some diamond smuggling affecting the world diamond market, and the trail leads to Las Vegas. Actually, it really starts with Bond roughing people up all over the world in his quest for Blofeld, who's responsible for his wife's death in the previous O.H.M.S.S.. He does finally kill Blofeld. And so why is Blofeld still the villain of this plot? Ay caramba, we're back where we started from.
Grade: B

Locales
Amsterdam, Las Vegas, Nevada desert, and some oil rig off California.
Grade: B+

The Man
Sean Connery. As he is in gimme-the-money mode, he doesn't do anything here that betters his past Bond portrayals. Still unflappable and still the lady-killer..
Grade: A-

The Villain(s)
Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Charles Gray) - before he can even have facial plastic surgery, Bond nips his medical procedure in the bud, and dispatches him to hell. Or so Bond thinks. Just like the cockroach he is, he just moves from one phase to another, this time operating a laser satellite plant powered by smuggled diamonds (allegedly fronted by a Texan multimillionaire), in the midst of Vegas. Again holds the world hostage by selectively blowing up the superpowers' arsenal, he hies off to his offshore oil rig headquarters for the final showdown. Which of course ends up in him being blown up. Again.

Mr Kidd (Putter Smith) and Mr Wint (Bruce Glover) - Two characters who seem to be Three Stooges rejects, but highly efficient (if theatrical - they're openly gay) assassins for Blofeld. Never gets to tangle face-to-face with Bond until the final scene. And then you scream "it's about time!!" when they're finally bumped off.

Bambi (Lola Larson) and Thumper (Trina Parks) - who thinks up of these characters? As if we didn't have enough campiness with the two gay assassins above, we have some Olympic gymnastic rejects, who give Bond a 15-minute workout.
Grade: B-

The Girl(s)
Tiffany Case (Jill St John) - one link in the smuggling chain, and soon is rolling between the sheets with Bond. Then swings back with Blofeld. And then back with Bond. This character isn't as memorable as past Bond girls.

Plenty O'Toole (Lana Wood) - one of those opportunistic Vegas girls who latch on to wealthy gamblers. Gets tossed out a hotel window ... of course, there's a pool below. Main 'clame' (thats short for 'claim to fame' *lol*): sister of Natalie Wood. Trivia fact: Natalie was married to Robert Wagner, who then married Jill St John 9 years after Natalie's death.
Grade: B

Gadgets
Let's see, there's this simple mousetrap he uses to fool anyone who frisks him, a fake rubber thumbmark with someone else's fingerprint (perfect for passing yourself off as someone else or framing people), and that belt he uses to scale the hotel penthouse. How does he know he's going to use these gadgets at any given time? Howww??? *lol*
Grade: B

Bond Moments
Keeping up the American tone of the film, Bond has a spectacular car chase around Vegas with several police cars ending up as wrecks.

To push things to an absurd level, Bond drives around the Nevada desert in a commandeered moon buggy. Thugs of course give chase but they weren't hired for their intelligence and/or common sense.

(assuming courier Peter Franks' identity, Bond switches wallets, prompting Tiffany to be stunned and proclaim, "You killed James Bond!" Bond is more famous than the Pope. Even dumb blondes know him.

Only scores with Tiffany here. Poor guy. He probably needs Viagra.
Grade: B

One Liners
(Scouring the world for Blofeld, one scene has Bond finding a beautiful exotic lady by the pool)
Woman: Is there something I can do for you?
Bond: Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. There's something I'd like you to get off your chest. (then whips off her bra and proceeds to choke her with it)

(in the casino, a woman baring a deep cleavage approaches him)
Woman: Hi, I'm Plenty.
Bond: But of course you are.
(note: this dialogue was originally going to be used in Goldfinger when Pussy Galore introduces herself. It was scrapped because it was deemed too suggestive *lol*)

(after Plenty is thrown out the window)
Bond: Exceptionally fine shot.
Thug: I didn't know there was a pool down there.

(motioning Bond inside the elevator)
Blofeld: You press L, Mr Bond. The word 'Lobby' begins with "L".

(after switching satellite control tapes and shoving the real one down Tiffany's bikini)
Bond: Your problems are all behind you now.
Grade: A-

Overall
Weaker than its predecessors, Connery should have gone out with a bigger bang.
Grade: B


"My, Mr. Bond. I'm shaken. AND stirred."