i'm not a real fan of camping out in front of a store to get the latest release of a game. that already tells you am not a true-blue gamer. i like, however, to discover games "organically" (thank you, Bill Simmons). i notice a title or two, and when the time comes, purchase it from the Reduced Price section. this is how i really enjoyed (and finished) Rockstar's Manhunt and Red Dead Revolver. but just to flash some gamer cred (of sorts), i admit i did purchase Black (mastered by my pal delphi) and Madden 07 at full price, the latter even within the day of release (guilty).
that being said, let me ruminate on some of the crap am wasting my time on (including this blog), as it will be awhile before i even consider buying a PS3.
Let's Roll
kitschy and weird, that's the best i can say about Katamari Damacy. can be addictive too if not handled properly. people went crazy over this game a couple of years ago, and spawned a couple more sequels. basically, the premise is, you are a Prince and your father, the King of the Cosmos (must be that cheap soda), managed to destroy all the stars in one of his ... uhm, let's just describe it as 'energetic boot-knocking binges'.
not a father figure by any yardstick
so now, the deadbeat is passing the buck on to you, the Prince, to restore all the stars in the sky, by rolling up stuff on earth. yep, rolling. that's all you have to do. it does seem like an easy task, but progression brings more challenges.
roll stuff up. anything you see. thumbtacks. pencils. cookies. teddy bears. ants. mice. cheese. plants. your rolling ball of objects has to be a certain size before your pop launches it to the heavens and make it a new star. i'm waiting for the level where i can roll up people, cars, and skyscrapers. now isn't that strangely addicting? especially with a time limit.
why cant i shoot his patronizing, condescending ass?
casual observers may think this is a kid's game, but the whole thing was concocted by the Japs, who are masters of weird and surreal crap. additionally, there's another pleasant surprise in store:
that's it. am gonna shoot his patronizing, condescending ass.
Kiss My Alien Ass
a homage to the cheesy sci-fi movies of yesteryear, Destroy All Humans! is a fun-filled game where the tables are turned in the us-vs.-UFOs cliche, because you play the alien! imagine all the joy you gain by subjecting the staid humans of '50s suburban America with zap-o-matiks, anal probes, mindscans, hypnotic suggestions, abducto-beams, and death rays.
"where are you, Kris Aquino?"
you play as Cryptosporidium-137, affectionately known as Crypto in the Furon homeworld, who has been tasked to harvest human brains which supposedly contains strands of Furon DNA, in hopes of reviving your race's capability to ... procreate. yep, your species are eunuchs.
run, run from the ugly, short midget with a gun
"who's your daddy??????????"
aside from electrocuting human sheep, you get to extract their brains too
Furons merely continue their generational cycle by cloning. which means i get to die a thousand times before i even tire of killing these pathetic humans (i'm up to Crypto-143 right now). can't you tell by the wide smile on my face?
Smashmouth
it would be crazy to buy a Madden NFL game every year, but thats what real fans do. me, i made do with the 2004 edition back when i got my PS2, and then went out and bought Madden 07 within a day of its release. yes, i'm one of the sheep who contributed to its record-breaking $100 million sales figure in just 2 weeks.
after popping in the disc, i didn't even bother to check the rosters (but that i will do when time permits, which is the only thing i do which could lump me in the same category as those who called in sick the day the game was released) - just Play Now!
my first game was a bit iffy, playing the NY Giants against the Oakland Raiders (yes, the NY Jets will suck). i let the Raiders score 2 field goals before getting comfy enough to make a touchdown. i even got penalized twice.
but the Giants' defense held, holding Oakland scoreless in the second half.
i liked my second game even better, where i played my SuperBowl bet Carolina Panthers against the rebuilt Detroit Lions.
Jake the Man slings the rock ...
... and is caught in highlight-reel fashion by who else - Steve Smith!
back then, i used to be scared of play-action - as if i was the one who's gonna get sacked. no more.
this particular sequence worked well, as "Me-Shawn" Johnson managed to catch it where it matters.
there was also a spectacular Julius Peppers takedown of Jon Kitna.
less than a minute left, the Lions need 3 touchdowns and some to beat me, and i go with 4 WRs. yes, i'm running up the score. no kneeldowns here.
and there they go!
another Smith touchdown.
yeah. call me bully.
ok, ok, i was playing weaker teams. and i belatedly found out that i was just playing at a "Pro" level. let me dial that up to "All-Pro" and leave me alone.
i have a couple more games - Gun and God of War. i previewed God of War, which is something i'd like to finish one day (after the rest of the world is already deep into its sequel - that's February 2007). God of War is an 3rd person action-adventure vehicle with you playing a battle-hardened mortal going up the beasts and gods of mythology. it has won a lot of awards and there is no question why - the graphics are spectacular and the game offers a lot of puzzling challenges to go along with its combat-heavy storyline.
i can't even get past this Hydra. i suck.
this is even more fun that the 2-D Gods PC game back in the 90's. i mean, will Lara Croft do some racy stuff in a cutscene? i hope i can unlock this particular one (this was modded - can't find the original).
i'll spend more time and focus on this after i get tired of rolling cows, finish off the human race, and throw about 20,000 touchdowns. so don't expect me to blog a lot in the next few months (besides, its football season).
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