James Bond DVD collection review #5. After Thunderball, the next Bond would have be really really good to top its predecessor. Lewis Gilbert, fresh off Alfie, followed the revered Terence Young's footsteps and directed You Only Live Twice. Set in Japan, it was more of a convenient concession to Japanese fans, and would prove to be Sean Connery's final Bond movie (or so he thought at that time). It doesn't really match the heights set by the two previous Bond films, possibly because the scope was a bit ambitious and it was hard to keep all the plot elements together (screenplay was written by Roald Dahl but hey, thats not a knock on him - he's a children's author, for cripes sake). Nevertheless, it's still an entertaining ride - veering off to the campy side a bit, but entertaining.

You Only Live Twice (1967) - Lewis Gilbert
The Plot
SPECTRE, having demonstrated that they can hijack planes, go on and top themselves by hijacking space shuttles (well, those teeny ones that would eventually get to the moon - Columbia was still a twinkle in some NASA geek's eye). Oh wait, they hijack both US and Russian spacecraft, ostensibly to create a shooting war, if they don't get shown the money (no excuse for not thinking big). What's next - steal planets? With their technology, they could have gotten to the moon 2 years ahead of everyone else. Meanwhile, Bond is sleeping with the fishes (for about 15 minutes).
Grade: A

Locales
Hong Kong, Tokyo, Kobe, and some volcano island between Japan and Shanghai .
Grade: B+

The Man
Sean Connery. Visibly tired of his Bond persona and the notoriety it generated, this is his swan song. He was due for an encore later though.
Grade: A-

The Villain(s)
Ernst Stavro Blofeld (Donald Pleasance) - finally, Dr. Evil, er ... SPECTRE #1 has a face. And he has insane amounts of money (wait - he didn't get the ransom money for his past 2 shenanigans, did he?) to throw around, creating a complete rocket base hidden inside a volcano. How the hell did this happen? Is no one monitoring anything anymore? What th-?

A full array of SPECTRE thugs, soldiers, and flunkies. All of whom are spectacularly useless when trying to kill Bond.
Grade: B+

The Girl(s)
Aki (Akiko Wakabayashi) - Knowing in advance Bond's proclivities, the Japanese secret service roll out their sexiest agent to follow him around (and to have him chase her too). This one's no Michelle Yeoh, as she doesn't kick butt much, and gets poisoned while sleeping.

Kissy Suzuki (Mie Hama) - Knowing in advance Bond's proclivities, the Japanese secret service roll out their 2nd sexiest agent - to "marry" Bond for undercover purposes. She understands its just "business." Doesn't do much either except follow Bond around, usually in skimpy attire. She isn't even called by her name throughout the film.

Helga Brandt (Karin Dor) - Apparently is #11, in the SPECTRE organization. Tries to have her cake and eat it too, but as it turns out, Blofeld's piranhas have the final say on the menu.

Ling (Tsai Lin) - Bond's uh, last meal before he "dies".
Grade: A-

Gadgets
The much-ballyhooed gadget here would be the gyrocopter, a small one-man chopper that's fully armed and able to take down 4 bigger and better 'copters. 'Nuff said.

There's also this cigarette rocket, though from the Japs and not Q, that's useful for a condemned man's last wish, should he want to prolong his life.
Grade: B+

Bond Moments
Bond gets killed and is accorded a formal naval funeral.

To blend in the scenery, Bond undergoes an extreme makeover to become ... a Japanese. Yep.

Riding "Little Nellie" (the gyrocopter), Bond takes out 4 armed SPECTRE choppers. Sure.

Bond tries to entice Helga into splitting the money. Helga thinks about it and agrees. Goes to bed with him (Gooooooooooaaaal!!). Tries to kill him the next day anyway. Talk about bad dates.

Trapped in a crashing plane, Bond breaks free, regains control and crash-lands to safety. This scene they one-upped in Goldeneye.

How does SPECTRE hijack spacecraft? By building a bigger one and "swallowing" its victims. This must have been the inspiration for Pac-Man.
Grade: A-

One Liners
Bond: Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?
Ling: You think we better, huh?
Bond: No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian caviar.
Ling: Darling, I give you very best duck.

Tiger Tanaka: It can save your life, this cigarette.
Bond: You sound like a commercial.

(on learning that Kissy won't be sleeping with him for the night)
Bond: Well, i won't need these. (pushes aside his oyster dinner)
Grade: B

Overall
The ambitious scope is derailed when it regresses into a chop suey kungfu movie, with exuberant and stupid thugs, and ninjas.
Grade: B+

"I must have him ... tonight! Before that bitch Kissy shows up!"


"He's mine! Mine! I'm going to poison that slut Aki, and he'll be all mine!"