| VOL. 0101 |
Ah ... the New Year. Why then would I feel a little old huddled up in bed? Must be the winter blues. I've also been playing too much Manhunt (no, its soooo not gay! *lol*). Killing the scum of the earth can get a little weary, and the suspense will induce a heart attack on me soon. But ah, surprise, surprise. This is the furthest I've played any non-sport PS game. Now if I had more time ...
iBox (or what i saw on TV this week)
Desperate Housewives - Caught some that made crack up - especially when Susan (Teri Hatcher) sings "New York, New York" in a karaoke club, interspersed with slagging her ex-husband Karl, in front of all the patrons - and with new love Mike shaking his head in amusement. I didn't see the whole episode because of ...
24 - finally got on board (damn TV ads). Jack Bauer (Keifer Sutherland) is back in CTU, and in the first two hours, terrorist sleeper cells have caused a train crash to retrieve a secret package, they also kidnapped the US Defense Secretary along with his daughter (and Jack's secret lover) and plan to put him on televised trial, Jack shoots a terrorist handler in a CTU interrogation room to extract information, Jack's replacement for his old job killed (duh. the office ain't big enough for 2 field ops specialist), and the terrrorist family have their own domestic issues. And yeah, hottie Kim (Elisha Cuthbert) is not on the show anymore. Oh, the pain.
As if that weren't enough, Fox puts in another 2 hours the next day. This means we'll have the remaining 20 episodes over the course of the next few months. In trailing the only link to the terrorists, Jack has to pretend (perfectly!) how to rob a convenience store. As usual, you have a superior that doesn't believe him, so his unauthorized satellite surveillance is nearly taken down. His ploy nearly works, but he forgot that he did "rob" a convenience store at gunpoint and is thus boxed in by the cops. Nice hooks, Fox. Damn.
Boston Legal - as if the whole Crane, Poole and Schmidt law office isn't already interesting enough, here comes Candice Bergen, as law partner Shirley Schmidt, to slice and dice in verbal jousts with James Spader and William Shatner. Episode title? Why, "Schmidt Happens", of course.
The O.C. - even if the Cohen family seems too dysfunctional, parents Sandy (Peter Gallagher) and Kirsten (Kelly Rowan) keep everything grounded. Another great episode, with Seth (Adam Brody trying to be a "bad boy" (hyeeeeaah sure), Jimmy (Tate Donovan)finally goes away (but not without dramatic consequences), Summer (Rachel Bilson) seems ok with Zach (Michael Cassidy), Marissa (Mischa Barton) looks fine with poolboy DJ (Nicholas Gonzalez), and Ryan (Benjamin McKenzie) and Lindsay (Shannon Lucio), potentially his "aunt", finally kiss. Aahh, the days of paddling through dawson's creek.
Lost - Way too much drama here, as Kate has lots of skeletons in her closet (and a penchant for bad boys, consenting to almost-skinny dipping with Sawyer) for being in the middle of a bank robbery, and apparently killed a former love for it. but the best part is Shannon translating the papers that Sayid found, into "Beyond the Sea" ... in French. And finally ...
Alias - kickass 2-hour season opener. Sidney joins a new black ops section within the CIA. And its headed by ... Sloane, along with daddy Jack, ex-head Dixon and on-again love Vaughn (Marshall even gets recruited later). Its the same office, dammit, and its even called APO (Authorized Personnel Only *lol*). Sidney goes up against a badass shadowy arms dealer played by Rick Yune, her sister Nadia (Mia Maestro) joins APO, more dirty family laundry is aired, and she gets to finally do the nasty with Vaughn (Michael Vartan). I wonder how he felt, knowing he got dumped for Ben Affleck? *s*
No Biz Like ...
Brad and Jen split. Made front pages, of course. Guy wants to settle down, girl wants to follow her dreams. Sound familiar? Did The Jolie have anything to do with it? Who knows? Hahaha.
On the other side, there's Seal and Heidi Klum. Wow. Lucky dude.
People's Choice Awards (01/09/05). Yeeech. Can't decide on one "Best Picture" so they created 2 ("Best Motion Picture" and "Best Drama Motion Picture") to award correspondingly to both Fahrenheit 9/11 and The Passion of the Christ. Also have other kooky awards like Crest Fans Favorite Smile (Julia Roberts?), Favorite Combined Forces ("Yeah" by Usher/Li'l Jon/Ludacris), and Favorite Remake (what, no favorite song?)
Bwahahaha. Ashlee Lipsync-son booed mightily at the Orange Bowl. The Hilton Slut Known as Paris reportedly "extremely upset" because of lousy sales of her scent. Ms Trailer Trash 2004 Brit is so "inspired" by "CSI" she wants to become a ... forensic scientist. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk. Pile on, people.
You're MY Daddy? "Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just is sexy. If you put her on a TShirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double Ds! You can't cover those suckers up!"
- Joe Simpson, quoted in this month's GQ (no, i didn't make that up)
Present and Future Doodles OnScreen!
Rob Bowman's Elektra. Finally a solo spinoff. This won't be a furball, folks. Though I bet deep inside, The Garner Known as Jen is a simple, sweet, pampered soul (ok, minus points for unceremoniously dumping Scott Foley and now becoming half of the new Bennifer).
www.elektramovie.com
Francis Lawrence's Constantine. Will Keanu Reeves finally show more emotion than ... Keanu Reeves?
http://constantinemovie.warnerbros.com/
Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins. To finally erase Batman and Robin and Joel Schumacher from Batman history. And Gary Oldman plays Gordon. Hoooohaaa!!!
http://batmanbegins.warnerbros.com/
Tim Story's Fantastic Four. The adventures of Marvel's first family in a cineplex near you. Repeat after me: Jessica Alba. Invisible Woman. That's all you need to know.
Sin City - Robert Rodriguez. Frank Miller. Mickey Rourke. Bruce Willis. Benicio Del Toro. Jessica Alba. What more could anyone want?
Wachowski Brothers' V Is for Vendetta. With Natalie Portman?
Q: And who else is not anticipating Star Wars E3: Revenge of the Sith?
A: The non-fans of course *lol*
On a final note, saw an online ad/poster today ... "Sahara" with Matt McConaghuey as Dirk Pitt??? Whoa. Wait, did they have to add some hair implants on him? *s* Ok this better be good!! But why Penelope Cruz? Why? Why???
CoolStuff (via Gizmodo/Endgadget and other RSS feeds)
Peercasting (peer2peer broadcasting) seems to be the next wave. Your own internet, video or radio programming - on demand, at your fingertips, without the bandwidth costs and programming restrictions (take that, cable companies!). Wired Magazine has an interview on Bram Cohen, whose BitTorrent app has taken the P2P crowd by storm (surprisingly though, he doesn't jump into the stream of p2p filesharing). Careful, people. Pretty soon, Hollywood is gonna go medieval on your asses *s*. For more info on peercasting, go to Peercast.org.
HD DVD or Blu-Ray? Gee, can I stay with my old DVD player for awhile?
For all of us who couldn't go to CES 2005 in Las Vegas (lucky Uncle Jerome):
Gwen Stefani's Digicam!
Record your stuff direct!
The Hot Seat!
Another Player in the Handheld Revolution
Sewing Hits the 21st Century
dont disrobe. m:robe!
Can you spell HUGE?
Play to Get Fit!
i got my spine, i got my Orange slice
The much-maligned Wal-Mart declares war on Netflix. Problem is, their DVD inventory sucks. And you want to contribute to a corporation that encourages slave labor?
iPod gets religion!
2004 Vaporware Awards
UGO All Time Top 50 DVDs. Note: DVDs. Don't get mad if Somewhere in Time isn't listed.
katamari_damacy. Anyone played this already? Anyone already gone cold turkey?
Break down the Gates! (http://www.spreadfirefox.com/)
Current Pulp(s) on Hand:
Interesting stuff I chanced upon ...
National Geographic
Born to Run. Photoessay on a life of a cheetah. Made me put up some desktop wallpapers. Cool.
Yo! Simite. The famous park steeped in the past finds its way toward the future, and if the National Park Service has its way, its a future with "...a smaller human footprint."
When In Rome. An extensive read on how Rome came to be.
Mississippi Java (Not). A nice trek through Hot Coffee, Mississippi (yes, there is such a place. and no, there isn't a Starbucks around.).
next month's issue will probably have some stuff on the tsunami ...
Wired Magazine
Darknets. the Bram Cohen interview and deep inside the P2P bootlegging revolution.
Wired Homes. waaaaaah. i need money!
Rocket Man. this Branson guy has too much money *s*.
Pixel Soap. Presenting The Strangerhood, a Sims2 online sitcom.
Just Bridges. The science of bridge-building.
Oh, by the way, copyright protection on music and TV recordings in the U.K. expired during the New Year. Free-for-all, baby!!
Men's Fitness
Survey Says:
Fittest City: Seattle (gyms, air quality, outdoor recreation)
Fattest City: Houston (too much junk food, lousy air quality, one of highest TV-watching rates)
Laziest City: Memphis (27% of residents are obese, junk food joints on every corner)
City That Watches The Most TV: New Orleans (so they only go out during Mardi Gras)
City That Watches The Least TV: Minneapolis (they'd rather go ice-fishing)
City With Most Free Time: Arlington, TX (rush hour here only means extra seconds)
City With Least Free Time: Los Angeles (freeway traffic eats up a lot of time)
City That Eats The Most Junk Food: Cleveland (huh?? really?? burp.)
City That Drinks The Most Alcohol: Milwaukee (Duh.)
City That Eats Least Junk Food AND Drinks The Least Alcohol: NYC, Babyyyyy!!! (this even after landing #8 on the Fattest list)
GQ
Aside from articles on character actor Kevin Bacon, football genius Bill Belichick, and cover girl Kate Bosworth, there's also:
Jam Master. A look at the largely-ignored Paul Weller.
X-Treme Male Bonding. Take down terrorists in this posh Colorado shooting club.
He-Bitch. Why do men keep complaining? Because of competitiveness and something called Equity Theory.
How To Lose $$$. Jack Whitaker won the lottery and got $139M net. He still has roughly $93M to throw away.
Who's Your Daddy? Who's the baddest Simpson dad - Homer or Joe?
I Started a Joke... A day in the life of Ross Abrash, a former The Late Late Show monologue writer. Here are some gems:
The Backstreet Boys and 'NSync are getting together for a charity concert. The money raised will be used to help victims of the concert.
In Washington state, a prisoner escaped using a fake gun made out of paper. He was caught outside, frantically folding a getaway car.
Paris Hilton is a slut: did you hear about her new Christmas video? its called 'Miracle on 34 Guys.'
Courtney Love was rushed to the hospital. I don't know what condition she's in, but we can rule out stable ...
President Bush says if we don't lower milk prices, the cows have won.
Spin, Spin, Whiskey and Gin:
Broke out my MDs. The MD player in my stereo is still working. At least I get to use the remote before it breaks down again by gathering dust. Among the gems unearthed: old faves Flesh For Lulu, 16 Tambourines, and oh, ummm, Gary V. *lol*
Balls Deep:
NFL Playoff Time, baby. I ain't leaving on weekends until after the Superbowl.
1st and 10 ... Divisional Playoffs prognostications (bets in color).
Saturday Games
NY Jets at Pittsburgh ... As long as we're here, let's go, JETS!
St Louis at Atlanta ... Let Loose Michael Vick.
Sunday Games
Minnesota at Philadelphia ... Round 2: Culpepper vs McNabb. Moss vs T.O. Ooops. There's no T.O. this time.
Indianapolis at New England ... Could be the time for Peyton's redemption. That being said, never underestimate the devious mind of Bill Belichick.
Last week:
3-1 (who woulda thunk the Vikings would finally un-underachieve? On the other hand, you more or less expect such antics from Randy Moss.)
Lest I forget the NBA ... what do we have so far? Phoenix is running and gunning its way to what, 70 wins? LeBron James is officially the face of the League, Seattle and Washington are still surprising people, Utah is in a tailspin, Minnesota and Denver are underachieving, Miami owns the Eastern Conference (and not just because of Shaq), the expansion Bobcats have a better record than the Hawks or the Hornets, and Kobe's Lakers are mired in mediocrity (hah!). And oh yeah, welcome back, Grant Hill.
and of course, my favorite sports columnist has always something interesting to say.
Please Don't Take Me Out of Context. "I can't put it into words," he said. "Playing with a guy, living with a guy, just knowing that every day when I wake up that's something I can count on ... Him not being here is going to be tough for me. I don't know what I'm going to wake up for."
- Orlando Magic guard Steve Francis, on trading his best pal Cuttino Mobley to Sacramento
uThoughts:
Here's a funny story from Gregg Easterbrook (columnist on
NFL.com).
How About a Computer Voice That Says, "Dis Is Bruno. Waddaya Want?"
Yours truly loves to ride Amtrak but hates "Julie," the computerized voice on the Amtrak 800 number. "Julie" seems to exist exclusively to prevent callers from talking to a real agent. Once I tried to ask "Julie" out, and she replied, "I'm sorry, I didn't understand your question." Well, I got that a lot when I was dating. Julie's voice has about as much personality as Amtrak's trains.
Now we learn "Julie" is a real person -– you'd never guess it from the authentic way she imitates a soulless machine -– named Julie Stinneford, profiled in this article . Stinneford is "a professional voice talent," the article reports; Amtrak claims 90 percent of callers like Julie, which I find about as credible as the railroad's latest budget request. Everyone yours truly knows who rides Amtrak HATES Julie and tries desperately to get past her to speak to a real person. Why, exactly, did Amtrak hire a person to imitate a computer? And remember, Amtrak used your tax money to hire a person to pretend to be a computer. Tuesday Morning Quarterback suggests having fun with Julie by calling the Amtrak number, 800-USA-RAIL, and trying to confuse her. I did, and part of the conversation sounded like this:
JULIE. How many people will be traveling?
ME. It's a big country. How should I know how many people will be traveling?
JULIE. That sounded like you said, "One adult."
ME. I was being evasive. But I refuse to tell you why I was being evasive.
JULIE. My mistake. How many people will be traveling, and please be sure to say if there will be children or senior citizens.
ME. Of course there will be children. Children are our hope for the future.
JULIE. That sounded like you said, "Eight children."
ME. Do you have children, Julie? I'm starting to worry that machines will have children.
JULIE. You need to say what kind of adults will be traveling.
ME. The dashing, irresistible kind. It's me, after all. I'm sort of a 1940s-movie handsome-stranger-on-a-train kind of guy.
JULIE. I'm having trouble understanding you.
Not B-ADS: Honda Element - 2 guys running out of places on their Honda where to put promo stickers of bike trails they've tried. They end up putting it on the one of the wheels. Burger King - one with The Apprentice uber-bitch Omarosa *lol* and the other where a boss upgrades his regular BK treats to his staff to the new Angus Beef Burger, because he's firing one of them - if they say a number that's on his mind. Budweiser - revenge on the referee ads. this time the cops are after the (moronic) refs because "anyone will do anything just to get a taste of Bud Light."
From the Detroit 2005 AutoShow
2005 Lamborghini Diablo GT. wala pa ring kupas.
goodbye, Will Eisner.
goodbye, Fulton Fish Market.
... and finally:
You open the paper, and you see these:
Baseball free agent Carlos Delgado reportedly 'insulted' by $30 million offer from NY Mets.
Basketball player Latrell Sprewell insulted by 3-year $27M offer from Minnesota Timberwolves, saying he needs to feed his family. By the way he's making $14.6M this year.
And then you also read something like:
The donations, large and small, have come from all walks of life. Two $1 bills came from 6-year-old Shelby Rose Jean, of Melville, L.I., the money taped to a letter. "Dear People," she wrote by hand. "I am very sorry that the tsunami knocked down the houses. I am glad that you are still alive. I hope you can find somebody that can help you."
You want to scream how idiotic and selfish these overpaid athletes can be, but then you can only shake your head and sigh.
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