-
Elektra
dir. Rob Bowman
Along with several fighting skills, Jennifer Garner has mastered the art of sashaying sexily into danger. At least in this film. And sometimes in Alias. The Elektra character fits her well, unlike, say, Halle Berry playing Catwoman. Ugh.
Even if Daredevil was a critical flop, it did rake in enough money and studio execs thought they still had a goldmine in Elektra (brilliant casting - and serendipitously, brilliant 'matchmaking'), and so, voila - a spinoff! Did I say brilliant? The 2 idiots in those Guiness commercials would definitely say that. What isn't briliant is the way they put it together. Just like Daredevil was skewered by critics and fanboys, Elektra gets the same treatment because it seems underdeveloped and rushed. Blame the studio and marketing execs who wanted to push the product out just so the viewing public would probably still recall who Elektra was. The Cliff notes version is: she died, she's resurrected (in true Marvel tradition), she starts a killer-for-hire career, her mentor sets her up to find some moral balance in her life by rediscovering her humanity, and she kicks ass in the process. The plot is somewhat disjointed and convoluted, and characters have been revised to make it more audience-friendly (to the consternation of the fanboys). I personally didn't like the treatment of main villain Kirigi as just a power-mad scion of The Hand's leader, and don't even get me started on Typhoid (Mary). And why is The Hand after a dad (E.R.'s Goran Visjnic) and his daughter, again? Because the daughter can kick ass too? And they pretended to be "helpless", so Elektra can rescue them? And why would the dad and Elektra kiss? Twice? Why? Why?
"My name is Stick, but call me Mr. Miyagi."
Director Bowman, whose resume is made up largely of X-Files material, does a decent job of capturing the style and grace of what glossy martial arts action films should be, but I wonder if Ang Lee or John Woo could have done a better job doing this. The panoramic shots of the Pacific Northwest are gorgeous, and I couldn't help wanting an island home to reside in in Zen-like peace and quiet.
Mr. Affleck? Ben? Are you okay? Should we call 911?
Of course, the selling point of the whole movie is Garner herself, making all the fanboys drool (care to play Psylocke anytime soon? Tia Carrere is ummm, old and retired). But she's only in her famous red costume in less than half of the whole thing (in the beginning and the end). So just be content with Garner's dimpled smile, and watch her kick ass. We have Terence Stamp as her blind mentor Stick, who runs a school by day and rakes money as a poolshark in his spare time (that's called maximizing your talents). You have a plethora of villains, starting with Cary Hiroyuki-Tagawa (playing the typecasted Asian gang leader) and Will Yun Lee as his son Kirigi. Perhaps the most-awaited scene (by the guys) was the hookup between Elektra and Typhoid (Natassia Malthe). Underrated bad guy Jason Isaacs has a short appearance as Elektra's target in the opening sequence.
Can Jenny From The Block pull this off? Can she? Naaaah.
For all its deficiencies, Elektra at its best a stylish action film, and you have to have those quiet build-ups because the character is quite a complex one (if anyone reads them comics), and not just a one-dimensional assassin. But we all need our popcorn fun. Girls kicking ass are always cool to watch. But not if its your ass she's kicking.
-
Mr and Mrs Smith
dir. Doug Liman
Right in the part where Mr and Mrs Smith are trying to shoot holes into each other - I go thinking "they've already totally picked the house clean, where did all these guns come from??" Either the cleaners didn't do a competent job, or this is a plot device. Duh. Of course, moron, its a contrived plot device. Let's do War of the Roses one better - let's have a full blown shootout, then have the two make love thereafter.
Nope, the tango scenes in True Lies and Scent of A Woman are better.
Coming off the heels of the real-life showbiz drama that was the Jennifer Aniston-Brad Pitt marriage/divorce, Mr. and Mrs Smith is the perfect project to ride on the ensuing publicity. Shades of Pinoy cinema. "Friends lang po kami." "Pinopromote po namin ang bago naming pelikula, at sana'y tangkilikin nyo." "Wala pong namamagitan sa aming dalawa." Okay, if I clear my mind of all of that crap, the only reason I will be watching this would be because of maybe 2 things: the concept of married assassins (hey, that could be a - pun intended - hit series) and ehem, Angelina Jolie. Especially Angelina Jolie (Team Aniston, don't hate me).
yep, it was never this much fun with Jen and Billy Bob.
So let's see, let's just ignore the flimsy plot (who are their organizations? what is Seth's, er, Adam Brody's role aside from bait? who designed their house and why are they able to hide their hardware from each other? and why are they being set up, again? head ... hurt.) and watch it for the fun that it is. Married assassins suddenly discovering that they are such and now pitted against each other. Not everyone can use the same spark to a deflating marriage, but it sure is a nice idea. Vince Vaughn plays himself (yes, is there any other goofy Vaughn character?) as Mr. Smith's handler, and in true showbiz carousel fashion, currently the rebound guy for Jen. There is a nice car chase scene (was that along the Jersey Turnpike?), and like it or not, it was much more fun seeing them shooting at each other than taking down their enemies. In terms of keeping secrets from your spouse (in an action movie context), True Lies is a better movie, for now, unless someone comes up with a thicker plot and better storytelling for a sequel (wait. this means the sequel will have them working together, but the incessant marital bickering should be interesting).
"Umm, Brad ... you mind if I hook up with Jen after this is all over?"
For all of Doug Liman's skills (megging the critic faves Go, Swingers and the surprising Bourne Identity), this is a star-and-money-making vehicle for the Hollywood mafia. Besides, Jolie and Pitt can use the money for humanitarian causes they're involved in, and to pay for all those globe-trotting, paparazzi-evading vacations plus the costs of raising their adopted kids, nyahahahaha.
-
Versus
dir. Ryuhei Kitamura
The Japs are always crazy. From big-ass clunky robots and kawaii girly stuff to kinky fetishes and sicko horror and cutting edge technology, Japanese entertainment culture can always be counted on to be never boring. Disgusting and shallow perhaps, but never boring.
Take Versus, for example. Kitamura's breakthrough 2000 film is a hyperkinetic stylized action movie that blends fantasy, gunplay, sci-fi, gorefests and just all-out ridiculousness. A prison break turns into a slaughter fiesta as both prisoners and gangsters (and a hostage) try to fend off zombies in a 'Forest of Resurrection'. In true campy FPJ/Lito Lapid/Power Rangers/Shaider tradition, there are lots of opportunities for them to show off their gunnery and martial arts skills - against the zombies and each other.
"Time Space Warp, ngayon din!"
Turns out all events are manipulated by one man - only identified as The Man, no names please - who wants the power of the dark side by sacrificing a human and spilling the blood of a specific person. The person turns out to be Prisoner KSC2-303 (again, no names), a criminal with a heart of gold (aawwwww) but easily kills at the drop of a hat (they love the samurai/ronin angle). Story gets convoluted when we learn that this thing is a ritual, and has been going on for hundreds of years, because The Man has not succeeded yet (yeah, if he was, then we wouldn't have this loony story, would we?) Previously, the incarnation of the person whose blood was needed to open that portal to the Other Side was The Girl's. The Girl being now in this case, the hostage. I know, I know - this gave me a migraine too.
if only the Pinoy tambays looked this good
But despite all that headache, it never gets boring. You'd at least be amused by the over-the-top campy acting by the gangsters, possibly puke at the various acts of dismemberment being done and the copious amounts of gore flying around, reluctantly cheer the reluctant hero when he starts kicking ass, roll your eyes when they do their requisite porma in between kicking ass, scream "what th-?!" when any semblance of logic is shredded to pieces (which includes the plot) - The English Patient, this is definitely not.
this brings new meaning to the phrase "magkita tayo sa mata."
With a Versus 2 being planned for 2006, and the recent American trend of embracing things Japanese, its a wonder this hasn't been optioned as a video game at the least, or copied outright by the Yanks (or is that limited to J-Horror?). Oh, wait, we had the Kill Bills already.
